Overheard this morning: Jonathan (7) and Noah (4) were making breakfast. I wish I'd had a hidden video camera; the whole show would have had a chance to go viral on YouTube. As it was I only caught bits and snatches as I went about my own affairs.
Jonathan: I'll make the eggs, because if someone else makes them they’ll put in something I don’t like, like green peppers.
Noah: I’ll help!
Jonathan: You get out all the eggs—not the ones with the writing on them. [The hard-boiled eggs are marked with an H.]
Noah: Bud, we need Tuscan Sunset.
Noah: Do we have rye bread?
Jonathan: You need a towel, because the eggs don’t stay still if you put them [directly] on the counter.
Noah: Huh?
Grandma: He doesn’t want to make egg rolls. [A reference to Noah’s favorite joke, which he says he made up himself: How do you make egg rolls? You take an egg and roll it.]
<SPLAT>
Jonathan: I’ve got it mostly under control. Don’t anybody step there.
Jonathan: One, two three, four, five, six, seven. That’s good.
Noah: I’m not putting this in.
Jonathan: But it’s onion!
Noah: Yes, but I’m not putting it in because it doesn’t have one of those [a shaker lid].
Jonathan: Mom might be able to guess that I used nutmeg, but she’ll never guess we used paprika. Paprika looks like red pepper but it’s mild as a pild. [Jonathan’s latest verbal venture is frequent use of “(adjective) as a (rhyming nonsense word).”]
Jonathan: Bud, that was 'way too much Tuscan Sunset.
Noah: Okay, but I know we love Tuscan Sunset.
Jonathan: [putting away the minced onion] M … mace …. [This for my friend who also keeps her spices in alphabetical order.]
[Noah’s interest wanes and he gets distracted by other things; Jonathan carries on. Jonathan does not require a second person for conversation.]
Why did someone put this big pan on top of our best frying pan?
[Pours scrambled eggs into the pan.]
Oil! Oil! Oil!
[Pours scrambled eggs back into the bowl.]
[Pulls big jar of oil from cupboard. Puts it back.]
Canola oil isn’t the only kind you can use.
[Gets olive oil mister from the cupboard.]
This makes it easier not to pour too much oil.
[Sprays oil, returns eggs to the pan, turns on the stove, and commences stirring. Later, a call comes from the kitchen.]
Can someone help me stir? My arm is tired!
The eggs were almost done, and soon we sat down to a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs, accompanied by recitations from Green Eggs and Ham.
Thank you, thank you, Jonathan and Noah!
"viral on ebay"? Are you trying to make some money?
They should start their own cooking show.
S
Grrr! I caught and fixed that error before I posted! Must have been dreaming again....
