On the face of it, July - September was a slow quarter for my 95 by 65 project.  I completely only three goals in the three-month period:

  • #57 Finish chronological Bible reading plan
  • #37 Share at least 20 meals with others (home or restaurant, but not counting multi-day visits more than once or shared meals already in place)
  • #94 Rocket boost photo work (40 hours of work in segments of 1 or more hours, over approximately 2 weeks)

To complete my goals by age 65, I need to average slightly over three goals per month, not per quarter.

Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I'm still not worried.  Not by the numbers, anyway, because I know I'm making progress on many goals that by their nature take a long time to complete.

I do, however, continue to be ever-cognizant of the preciousness of time.  When I look at the imposing quantity of time necessary for some of my projects, and watch the calendar on my phone tick over another day with such relentless frequency, it's hard to shake a minor but persistent panic.  I'm keep in mind the following quote from George MacDonald, but have yet to succeed in working it out in my daily life:

He that believes shall not make haste.  There is plenty of time.  You must not imagine that the result depends on you, or me.  The question is, are you having a hand in the work God is doing?  It shows no faith in God to make frantic efforts or lamentations.  God will do his work in his time in his way.  Our responsibility is merely to stand ready and available and to go where he sends us and do what comes our way.

Another problem is that crossing goals off my list doesn't necessarily cross them out of my daily life.  Completing my "try new restaurants" goal doesn't mean we stop going out to eat, and finishing one Bible reading plan merely means beginning another.  Recently I completed Goal #65 Achieve 40,000 DuoLingo points.  Yet that completion won't gain me any time, at least I hope not, because I'm finding the DuoLingo lessons both enjoyable and valuable and plan to continue the work.  I can't let that suffer the fate of #16 Practice deliberate relaxation twice a day for a month, which did me so much good I intended to keep up the practice after meeting the goal, but....  I do intend to restart it, I do.

I have always disliked the "bucket list" idea.  I'm not sure why; perhaps my deep-seated anxiety about time as a limited resource rebels at the name—as yet another, mocking, reminder.  The 95 by 65 list serves me well as a way to achieve the concentrated attention of a bucket list with a more immediate and optimistic focus.


Posted by sursumcorda on Friday, November 6, 2015 at 7:22 am | Edit
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Go Mom!

Posted by Janet on Saturday, November 07, 2015 at 1:10 am

I do hope you know that the purpose of the list was not to add more stress to your life! I would like to finish my list, but if I don't I can add those things I didn't finish to my next list (or re-evaluate and see if that list item is important to me anymore).

I'm using my list as a way to prompt me to either do things that need to get done or to take a baby step out of my comfort zone.

You have made tremendous progress, but don't let it stress you out!

Posted by dstb on Saturday, November 07, 2015 at 8:22 am

Despite the impression I may have given, the list doesn't stress me at all. In addition to what you said (prompting me to do tings that need to get done, and to take baby steps out of my comfort zone), the list helps me focus, and gives me something to look at and say, "Hey, look what I did!" I'm enjoying the process a great deal.

The stress comes from an apparently abnormally acute sense of the preciousness of time. I say "abnormal" because if others are as freaked out about it as I am, they hide it well. The 95 by 65 list is actually a very helpful tool for managing that anxiety.

Posted by SursumCorda on Saturday, November 07, 2015 at 8:42 am
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