A Modern Once-ler
“You’re Glumping the pond where the Humming-Fish hummed!
No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.”
“Oh no! OMG! Mr. Lorax, I’m bummed!
I’m glad you have told me, for I do not wish
To cause the demise of these dear Humming-Fish.
So I’ll tweet a tweet from my satellite dish
To make sure my followers all are aware.
For, once they’re aware, I am sure they will care
And caring, aware, as a group we will dare
To start a petition, a fundraiser – sure,
A Kickstarter project, a race for the cure:
These sick fish are more than what I can endure!
And then, with the funding and grassroots support,
We’ll clean up the gills, and if that should fall short,
We’ll hire some experts, the scientist sort,
Who’ll work on a coating that we can apply
To Humming-Fish gills. I am sure that will fly!
Those gills, they will auto-de-gloppetify!
Our problem is solved. Boy, you gave me a fright!
I’ll buy an indulgence on eBay tonight,
If offers are there and the prices are right.
On Farmville I’ll plant a few truffula seeds
And tell all my friends they’re what everyone needs.
There. Now can I get back to knitting my Thneeds?”
