If you want to be a local guide for the Viking cruise line, one of the most important things to remember is that a large number of your clients will be retired folks. That is, on the elderly side. When you are walking them through your beautiful city, with its Gothic churches, scenic views, and cute little shops, and ask, "Does anyone have any questions?" there's a high probability that the first inquiry will be, "Where's the nearest bathroom?"
Having returned just a few days ago from one of those lovely cruises, my mind was perhaps primed for that question.
Three times a week we take advantage of the therapeutic pool at our neighborhood park. It's a fantastic opportunity and we miss it when we are away, but there's one thing about their water aerobics classes that annoys us: all of the instructors insist on playing music during the workouts. I don't mind that when the music is instrumental and at low volume, but most of the instructors apparently assume that because our bodies aren't working as well as they used to, the same applies to our ears. And anything with lyrics tends to leave me with one or more earworms for the rest of the day.
Yesterday the music was not too loud, but the songs had words and were more than usually annoying. (Have I mentioned my 60-year aversion to the Beatles and all they engendered?)
What was that? What did he just say?
"There's a bathroom on the right."
Nah, couldn't be. Then he sang it again. Yep. "There's a bathroom on the right."
Clearly this guy was a Viking cruise guide before turning songwriter.
Turns out, I'm not the only one to have heard that. Google "bathroom on the right" and you find a large number of people who made the same mistake I did, and they can't all have recently been on a cruise with fellow senior citizens.
You'll also find that the real lyrics are, "There's a bad moon on the rise."
Frankly, I think the bathroom version makes more sense.