Porter usually knows better than to read me sports articles, but he knew my writer side wouldn't want to miss this. Either that or he was feeling in a particularly sadistic mood, and as I happen to know that he was still elated from a great run this morning, I'm sure that wasn't the case.
Porter doesn't usually read "Wrestling News 365" any more than I do, but it came up in his phone's news feed. The headline was "LeBron James Stuns NBA World, Walks Away from $162 Million Deal!" and the author Olivia Smith. I'm not including the link because I could be accused of spreading mis-, dis-, mal-, or at the very least, obscene-information, but Mr. Google will show it to you easily enough.
"Obscene?" you say. "How is it obscene?" Well, I challenge the writers among my readers to peruse the excerpts below without experiencing the same stomach-turning revulsion a normal person might feel having accidentally encountered a pornographic website. For openers,
Yet again LeBron James, the notorious figure in b-ball, has turned into the point of convergence of conversations as the Los Angeles Lakers explore the uneven waters of vulnerability. With the customary season creeping towards its decision, the Lakers end up wrestling with a horde of inquiries, the most squeezing of which rotates around the fate of their supernatural chief, LeBron James
Ah, so that's why it was included in a wrestling news site.
LeBron James without a doubt remains as one of the NBA’s chief gifts, even as he moves toward the nightfall of his famous lifetime at 39 years old. His simple presence can change a group, infusing importance and title yearnings into their DNA. Notwithstanding, LeBron’s impact stretches out past the hardwood, pervading into the unpredictable texture of group the board choices. Named ‘LeGM’ for his penchant to impact faculty moves, LeBron’s inclusion frequently requires a fragile equilibrium for front workplaces, possibly smothering their independence.
LeBron’s propelling age adds one more layer of intricacy to the situation. With the ways of the world running slight, LeBron’s window to fight for titles limits with each passing season. The Lakers’ reliance on prompt accomplishment under LeBron’s stewardship takes a chance with leaving the establishment in confusion should their undertakings miss the mark. Besides, the possibility of LeBron’s potential retirement poses a potential threat, abandoning a void that the Lakers might battle to fill, both on and off the court.
Okay, that's enough. I don't want to stretch the "fair use" copyright concept too far, and besides, I don't think I can take anymore.
Still, in the end, it's funny. Ya'll know how much I dislike mockery, but I'm not attacking Olivia Smith the person. If she is a person. I'm sure that such stunning prose could only have been generated by AI, and Automated Idiocy is fair game as far as I am concerned. Yesterday my phone's Autocorrect unilaterally replaced "Wind" with "Eindhoven." If this is what it wants to be when it grows up, I think I'll pass.
In case you're wondering, and checking up on Ms. Smith yourself, the "Olivia Smith" pictured on the article's byline does not look like the Olivia Smith Google shows me, who is an actual, award-winning journalist. But who knows? Ms. Smith, if you are a real person who really wrote this article, you deserve a better editor.
And I just saw an ad on TV where Orlando Health was bragging about using AI in their practice of medicine. My recommendation is to stay away from them.
