Since—ta da!—we expect our fourth grandchild in October 
, and since choosing a baby's name has an aura of sacrament in the Daley household, and since others have already begun making positive suggestions, I hereby offer an article on baby names not to use.
Ancestry.com's Bad Baby Names on the Brain features the book, Bad Baby Names: The Worst True Names Parents Saddled Their Kids With—And Now You Can Too! I don't know if the article is open to the public or requires a subscription; in case of the latter, I present just a few of the 2,000 or so names, culled from census data, that I would rather not use when speaking of our newest grandchild: Title Page, Magenta Flamingo, Ghoul Nipple, Mann Pigg, Mary A. Belcher, Deuteronomy Temple, Hell Grimes, Lucifer Carmendo, Sandwich Green, Mayo Head, Tuna Fish, Fanny Pack, Major Nutt, Warren Peace. Some people have no imagination; names like Octavio and Quintin clearly indicate birth order (though the one present-day Octavio I know is an only child; go figure), but the authors also found, as first names, "every number from one to twenty, by tens to a hundred, and thousand, million, billion, and infinity." I know our Puritan ancestors were fond of naming their children after virtues (Love, Prudence, Patience, Charity, Endurance), and sometimes after circumstances associated with their lives (Fear, Wrestling), but who would name a child Lust, Wrath, Greed, Avarice, Envy, Sloth, Wrath, or Pride?
Take a moment and be thankful for your parents' wisdom. Even if you've always hated your name, you now know it could have been much, much worse.
A friend of mine is due in a couple of months, and no, she hasn't seen fit to get married "yet". They're going to "consider it" after the baby. Sheesh.
Anyway, the baby's last name is going to be the father's - Slaughter. So guess what they want for the boy's first name.
Go ahead, guess.
Time's up. The name is going to be "Hunter".
No kidding.
I suggested why not go all of the way and pick the middle name "Killer".
"Hunter Slaughter"? LOL. I hope someone knocks some sense into them before the baby comes ... but I'm not wagering on it.
There was a famous (infamous?) Texas politician of an earlier generation whose last name was Hogg. He named his daughters Ima and Ura.
I read some of the names to Jonathan - he didn't think any of them were suitable for a baby.
Hezekiah!!!!
What do you have against Hezekiah?
I know you had at least one sibling who was glad your first born was a girl so that the name Hezekiah remained unused.
We were saving it for Noah. :)
I have nothing against it. It's my favorite book of the Bible actually. :)
Ok, Hunter's bad, but Max would be worse, or Wanton, or May, or...
And Mike makes me laugh.
And all of you make me smile -- because I'm so happy to have people who read and comment. Thanks one and all!
Other names not to use in the present case:
- Names that are cities (Orlando, Houston, Madison)
- Names that rhyme (Bailey, Hailey)
- Names that are the imperative form of verbs, or where nicknames could form the imperative form of a verb (Florence - though that one's almost funny enough to be worth inflicting on an unsuspecting kid)
Good points. I can see it: "Hi, Heather! What's the Orlando Daley news?" "I don't know; you tell me, you live there!"
I have thought that we probably shouldn't do any virtue names, like Hope or Grace, at least not for a first name.
I've always (well, since it became popular) thought Madison was such a strange name for a girl. Then we might as well go for Jefferson, Washington, Roosevelt...
I share your Madison befuddlement, though to me Madison is first and foremost the capital of Wisconsin (lingering aftereffects of that childhood US puzzle), so I complete the sequence Montpelier, Raleigh, Dover. That said, I wouldn't flinch at Helena or Pierre, for example, so I guess my rule about cities only holds for those that in my perception are first cities, then names, and not the other way around.
Hope and Grace make me think of other categories that I'd find unfortunate:
- Names that are time-related (April, Autumn, Tomorrow)
- Names that are states of being (Peace)
- Names that become extra awkward when first and last name are inversed (Star, Harold)
- Names that form inappropriate initials (Caleb Alexander, Obadiah Daniel, Gregory Obadiah)
Ah well, it's not my job, is it...
I was about to do to this post what I've done with so many: close off comments because I'm tired of the spam. But instead I'm going to revive it, at least for a moment, because I was amused to re-read Heather's comment above in light of the final name decision. I'm sure it was a change of heart, not a deliberate misdirection. :)
That is pretty amusing, but I do think it turned out fine. I had completely forgotten about this thread, but it explains why once Heather said something like "I know you don't like virtue names" to me. I wasn't aware I'd said anything about it... but I had.
And with my lovely nieces I've also had a change of heart (though not for my own kids - they just don't work very well in a bilingual situation).
Ha! I really did think we'd do them for middle names until Faith was actually named.
And now we know a family whose first two girls are named Madison and Kennedy. None of the following children (boy or girl) follow in the Presidential lineup, though.
Bill! Thanks for stopping by and even more for writing. I was pretty sure who you were after reading this (it sounds like you), and 99% after reading your comments on the politicians.
There's a politician in your old stomping grounds named Louise Slaughter; she was running for some office once when we were visiting Janet. For some reason, her campaign signs featured her by first name only.
I hope your friend has a girl. Though I also know a girl named Hunter, so it probably wouldn't do any good.
