Lift Up Your Hearts!

Whatever you think about Facebook, there's no doubt it can be unintentionally amusing

I mostly find its "Reels" feature to be annoying, and have more than once looked without success for a way to turn it off completely. The short videos it shows are mostly reposted from Tik Tok, which I don't otherwise see. Sometimes they are interesting, sometimes they are genuinely informative and helpful, but all too often I find them infused with a negative view of life, even when they are undeniably—even addictively—entertaining.

Sometimes, however, something unexpected shows up and catches my eye.

If you don't have access to Facebook, you may not be able to watch the video, unfortunately. I spent too much time trying to find a version I could embed here, without success. I hope that link will take you to something you can see, but if not, it doesn't matter.

My readers know that one of our granddaughters plays on her high school girls' soccer team, and that the team has been wonderfully encouraging and supportive of her family during her sister's leukemia journey.

Here's another way they showed their character.

What caught my eye (more accurately, ear) in this video, and made me listen all the way through, was that it's not often when I hear mention of their tiny New Hampshire high school in nationwide media. I think this is the only time I have, actually. So it made me jump.

The short version of the story is that some of the team members did not want to play against a certain other team on their schedule, which included a boy in their lineup. First, in principle, because theirs is a girls' league, not a mixed one, and also because they found the boy physically threatening. The team's coach handled the situation extremely well: those girls who objected to playing that game were excused without any penalty, and the team played the game without any fuss. Somehow it made the news anyway, but I'm proud of the way they handled the situation calmly and fairly.

Our granddaughter? She played the game, with the support of her parents, even though they all thought it unfair for a boy to be on the opposing team. Why? I can't speak for them, but here are a few reasons that came up in our discussion:

• After all she's been through, Faith wanted to support her team, and to play soccer.
• It wasn't the other team's fault that they had a boy on the team—it was a state ruling that forced them to do so.
• Boys and girls often play successfully on the same soccer team—although that's usually at the younger levels, before males gain a significant physical advantage over females.
• They've played against other teams with girls she found more physically threatening than this boy.

The game was played successfully and without incident. I honestly don't remember which team won. In a way, they both did. Don't misunderstand me: The teams should never have been placed in this position, and the state rule that made it happen needs to be fixed.

But bad things happen in this life, and when they are met with quiet grace, that deserves to be celebrated.

These are the preliminary results of Grace's MRI. The NF1 team isn't available on Wednesdays, but the oncology team was merciful and gave them what they knew. You can get more details on the Daley Ponderings post.

As previously mentioned, Heather noticed a spot in Grace's ear last summer, and when the NF1 doctors heard about it, they were concerned that it might be a plexiform neurofibroma, and so scheduled an MRI for today to take a closer look. While it has shrunk on the surface, it is still there inside her ear canal, and they officially diagnosed it today. It is a benign tumor, like most NF1 tumors that she is at risk for. Typically, they will grow and cause problems as they bump into other things, though sometimes they stop growing and might not need anything done, and really rarely, especially in children, can shrink and/or disappear.

The great news is that it doesn't appear to be impacting her brain at all. In all likelihood, however, it is the cause of the mild hearing loss in Grace's right ear that has been observed consistently since before her transplant, but was always attributed to something else, such as her having a cold or recovering from covid. And once again, it was Heather who noticed the spot in Grace's ear, though it took months for the doctors to become concerned. How on earth do doctors decide when something needs to be looked into, and when "wait and see" is the better option? Sometimes intervention works best when it's done soonest—and sometimes it really is best not to intervene at all. I think teachers must have the same dilemma.

I'm very glad that one of Grace's doctors specializes in both oncology and NF1; I suspect she will be getting notified directly of everything medical that happens to Grace from now on, because communication amongst doctors doesn't appear to be all that it should be. The NF1 specialists, by the way, are at Dartmouth, not Boston, which is a much more manageable drive for the Daleys. It's shorter, for one thing—and there's no Boston traffic to deal with.

Hopefully today we'll see what the NF1 team has to say. They already have an audiology/otolaryngology appointment scheduled for March 4, and hope to get both oncology and NF1 doctors involved as well for a group discussion of what the next step should be.

Now for two fun stories from yesterday's adventures.

The oncologist confirmed that Grace is "one in a million," saying that she had never heard of a three-year-old undergoing an MRI without sedation (which was my [Jon's] request), and she did a terrific job. She winced once at a loud noise, and then fell asleep to the soothing sounds of the MRI. (And that is sarcasm, if you couldn't tell.) She twitched a little as she fell asleep, but her head had some padding around it to hold it steady, and I was told the pictures came out great.

Grace had been nervous about "going into the machine," but I know no one better than Jon at calming a child who is angry, fearful, or upset. And Grace has had more than a year of practice at lying still for medical procedures. I suspect that a good part of the reason the doctor had never seen nor even heard of a child that age not requiring sedation is that most parents don't know it's an option. Just as I finally discovered that dental procedures and colonoscopies go much better without anesthesia, but few dentists or doctors give patients this option. Kudos to Grace, and kudos to her parents for their strength in following through with what they knew was best.

They gave her a stuffed unicorn to keep her company in the MRI, and she named it Candy Corn. And she insists that it isn't a boy or girl, but just "Candy Corn," which has caused much debate among the kids about whether she understands the question, or whether unicorns have a different set of genders...

Now you know why unicorns are extinct.

I know I've already made one post today, but Heather just posted this on Daley Ponderings, celebrating Grace's one-year post-transplant anniversary! I don't want to wait to share the news, so I'll replicate most of it here (and trust I'll be copyright-forgiven).

Today is Day +365. One year ago, this is where we were:

Today, Faith is recovered enough to participate in On Belay's Teen Winter Outdoor Adventure (pictures may come later, since she is there as I type.)

Grace had her first post-chemo haircut (just bangs) the other day.

Even more expert at using chopsticks now:

Little girl hugs:

We plan to celebrate as a family by going out to a restaurant tonight and watching Spy Next Door.

We are so thankful for God's grace and all your prayers and support to get us this far.

The spot on Grace's ear has lightened and shrunk! Keep up those prayers!  It looks like God is answering my prayers to heal it up before the MRI. Praise Him from whom all blessings flow.

It has been too long since I've posted an update on Grace for her friends and pray-ers; the fact that she's doing very well is no excuse. She is active and lively and very smart and such a joy! She does miss her brother Noah, who is now living with us while he continues his flight training here in Orlando, and she always lights up when she sees him on Skype.

One present concern is for a brain MRI coming up on February 12. The reason for this procedure is that Heather noticed a spot of some sort in Grace's right ear, which has consistently shown a slight hearing loss. Each time she was tested, the doctors blamed the diminished hearing on something that could cause congestion (e.g. a recent COVID infection), but it has been consistent and the doctors hope to rule out the possibility of this being another consequence of her NF1 (neurofibromatosis type 1). They had been expecting to do a brain scan sometime in the future as a routine part of the NF1 care; the ear situation just hurried it along a bit.

What's missing from this picture?

That's right—no NG tube! No tape marks on her face. No heavy backpack of formula to lug around everywhere she goes.  Grace is eating well enough now to get all her nutrition that way, and the one medication she's still on (hopefully not much longer) she takes orally.

Congratulations, Grace!

Also, not only is her hair growing, but I see a little curl.

Having achieved his private pilot's license, and now being qualified not only to fly other people, but to take them up at night, Noah has been getting in his flying hours by treating his family members and friends.

It didn't take long for Grace to realize what was going on and start demanding her own turn.

It's not every three-year-old whose brother takes her flying in a Cessna 172P Skyhawk!

Grace had her appointment with the NF1 (neurofibromatosis type 1) specialist this week, and the news is good.

The possible complications of having that rare genetic mutation (1 in 2500) are many and varied. Her very rare JMML (juvenile myelomonocytic leukemia, 1 in a million) is just one of them. NF1 is the elephant in the room that has had to take a back seat to the dinosaur in the room, so I was glad to get a specialist's view of the situation. (For Heather's full report, click here.)

The appointment with the NF1 doctor went well. One of her oncology doctors was also there, the one who works closely in the NF1 world. Jon didn't remember meeting the NF1 doctor, but it was right at the very beginning, during Grace's first hospital stay, when she was diagnosed. So, much to be thankful for from that visit. They are sure that her fracture is from steriod weakening and not NF1. The kind of bone issues that NF1 causes is not evident in her, and it would be by now. Several other NF1 symptoms are also ruled out for the same reason.

But there is still the possibility of developing brain tumors. This is why she is scheduled for eye exams every six months for the rest of her life. They are working on a trial of oral chemo that looks promising. Because there is no sign of brain/retinal tumor in Grace now, that study will be finished before she would even need it. And we pray that she never will! I think they said she'll get a brain scan every year, but they did not do one this time. She had an eye exam in June and will have one next month. And they asked about her cognitive development. The tumors really affect that, so we are reassured by her development there. Jon asked me to look up milestones for three-year-olds and the only things she is behind in are some gross motor skills like jumping/hopping and riding a tricycle. (She tried riding a tricycle the other day, and her legs did not reach the pedals!) I had already planned on taking her to the playground more often, but that now has to wait while her leg finishes healing. That is on the mend, she does not limp much at all anymore. She still has some flareups occasionally, but the curve is dampening.

So Grace is doing well! She had another bone marrow aspiration in Boston yesterday—routine, except that I don't call anything that involves general anesthesia "routine." Results will be back in about a week; we're praying that her cells are still 100% Faith's.

Fun quotes from the last weeks:

9/7/24 - Nothing like older brothers to help you develop cognition. When she was in an "answer everything with 'no'" mood: "Grace, are you dumb?" "No" "Are you not dumb?" "Not dumb."

9/11/24 - "Mommy, all done eat my eggs. Please wash it, my fork."

9/11/24 - "Hope 'wake now. Not sleeping."

10/26/24 - Nathaniel and I were talking about when Grace can shower and bathe now that her central line is out. Grace then exclaimed, "Swim! Me swim! Maggie P! You come. Hope come."

Monday, 11/4/24: The kids were doing a survey for fun. "What's your first name?" "Grace." "What's your middle initial?" [They helped her say 'Victoria' and that it starts with V] "What's your full name?" "Amazing Grapey Grace!!"

Here's Amazing Grapey Grace in her Little Red Riding Hood Hallowe'en costume; one of her brothers was the wolf.

Dear Grace,

Please stop trying to distract me from politics by getting hurt.

Love,
Grandma

From Heather this morning:

Sometime recently, Grace fell off a wooden block that she was using as a stool. I thought she had twisted her ankle. She would complain on and off, but still often insist on walking. Then Sunday, Noah came to me and asked, "Did you know that Grace's foot is crooked?"

So we decided it was time to see an orthopedist. Monday, she got X-rays and lo, and behold, a bending fracture in her left fibula. (Imagine a green twig that just started to crack, but released before it broke.) They do not cast this kind of break and said to follow her lead about how much she walks. However, she has such a high pain tolerance that I think we need to restrain her a bit more. She was limping more yesterday.

We have messages in to her other doctors, to discuss the effects of steroids and also NF1 on her bones.

Please pray for healing and wisdom and that I will not worry about future fractures.

She's not kidding about Grace's high pain tolerance. When the doctor was gently pressing on places on her leg, beginning with her toes, she did not react at all until he reached the exact place where the x-ray indicated the break, and then she only flinched.

Young children's bones are amazing when it comes to healing; if I broke my fibula no doctor would casually say to me, "Do what you feel like, but no bouncing on a trampoline, and stay away from the playground for a few days." Maybe Grace takes after her great-grandfather, who followed his doctor's advice as to restrictions when he went home after surgery: "Just do what you feel like doing, but I'd avoid chopping wood for a while." Apparently the doctor didn't anticipate that he would feel well enough to go bowling, and he ended up back in the hospital.

Young children's bones are remarkable, but what makes this a special matter for prayer is that one of the many possible complications that can occur with NF1 is bone problems. Grace has shown no other symptoms than the big one (JMML), and there's every possibility that this event is just the result of (temporary) long-term steroid use and being an active toddler. But something more serious is not off the table.

Grace's third birthday started normally enough. We enjoyed a video chat, watching her come to grips with the fact that the answer to "How old are you?" had changed dramatically!

However, her very busy day ended with a trip to the Dartmouth emergency room because a key part of her central line broke during the routine evening flush.

After a night and a morning filled with what would have been a comedy of errors if there had been anything funny about it, she had surgery to remove the entire central line. This major milestone was intended to be reached two weeks later, rather than on an emergency basis, but she did well, and the job is done! I've copied the following directly from Heather's post, so you can see the pictures.

Line removal surgery was successful. She did great for the IV.

She came out of anesthesia quickly and they were home by 4:30. It is strange to her to have her line out. But next week she'll be able to have her first bath in a year! She is excited about that. 

After she got home, Grace opened her birthday joy jar.

Heather's note on the Joy Jar:

NEGU Never Ever Give Up. This organization was founded by a girl who had a terminal brain tumor. She wanted to spread joy to her fellows and give a Joy Jar full of goodies to every child diagnosed with cancer. The organization has now grown so that they give Joy Jar subscriptions to the children and their families. Every month, Grace gets a jar with a book, crayons, coloring book, stuffed animal, and other toys. She loves her Joy Jars and is so excited when a new one comes. They also have given us all t-shirts, a beach towel, a blanket, a popcorn bowl with popcorn, and numerous other goodies. One month, they included the book Jessie's dad wrote about her life, which was powerful. I certainly cried hard, but it has such a hopeful theme even while dealing with all the hard questions of life, death, and terminal illness in a child. negu.org

Good news: Grace is getting her central line removed! The procedure was scheduled for two weeks from now, but it's coming out as an unexpected birthday present.

Bad news: The present came wrapped in less-pleasant circumstances: one of her lines broke during the routine flush. They were able to clamp it off, but Grace and Jon are now headed to Dartmouth to get her started on antibiotics, in case the line was contaminated. They will probably do the removal procedure tomorrow.

Prayer request (from Heather's blog post): Please pray for safe travel and no infections and a successful procedure.

Microsoft caught me.

I have been avoiding ChatGPT and other AI temptations for a long time, particularly when I receive invitations to use AI for my writing. I am confident enough to prefer what I write myself, thank you!

Drawing, however, is another matter. When Microsoft's Copilot recently—and unexpectedly—appeared in my Windows Taskbar, I was a bit disconcerted, but intrigued enough to give it a try.

I wanted a picture for Grace, to go with the caption, "Happy 3rd birthday, bonnie warrior!" After about 15 minutes of work, this is what I chose.

These are some of the iterations along the way. My second choice was the manga-looking image on the right.

That was fun!

I have no further news on Grace, other than that her rash is responding well to the cortisone cream. Her mom just turned 45, which means my daughter just turned 45, which means.... You do the math. Or don't.

Grace herself will be turning THREE YEARS OLD this week. A year ago we feared she would not reach this milestone. She still has a long battle ahead, but we are so grateful she has come this far. Grace is such a cheerful fighter, a patient patient, and a delightful person! Thank you for all your efforts on her behalf.

Because so many people take pleasure in blessing Grace, and she has no physical needs except health, Heather has requested that continued prayers would be the number one gift they could ask for. That link also includes a list of some of the organizations that have provided them immeasurable help throughout the past year, in case anyone wants to support the good that they do for families of children with cancer.

We just returned from a great visit to New England. (Yes, all through Hurricane Milton, which was a bit of an adventure, but I'll get to that later.) In addition to attending my nephew's wedding, we had a lot of fun with grandchildren.

Grace was amazing! Except for the NG tube, and the bag she carries around all day, wherever she goes, and her central line, and the fact that she asks "Milk in it?" of any new food, you'd never guess she was sick. Just shy of her third birthday, she's as active and energetic and competent as you could wish. And very much in the "Me do it!" stage. Cute as all get out, too.

You knew there was going to be a "But...."

Suddenly, she is sick. Two of her siblings recently developed regular colds, but this doesn't look like a cold: so far, at least, the only symptom has been throwing up, which she did several times last night. At last word, she has no fever—and this is a big part of the prayer request, because in her case a fever sends her immediately to the hospital.

Many thanks for your continuing long-distance love for our little girl.

I've been remiss in updating Grace's Journey; my only excuse is that no news is good news! She has been doing well. For a more complete update from Jon, see their new Daley Pondering blog post, from which I will quote extensively. Jon is writing.

It has been great to have less medical stuff going on these days, and we get more comments about her being "so cute" in the grocery stores and the soccer games, etc.

Her hair is growing in, and I don't think I've heard her referred to as a boy in a while (for a while she just looked like she had a really short haircut, but it is growing out more). She discovered the 18 month clothes bin in the attic the other day and has been wearing some onesies, since she mostly still fits into them. She'll turn three next month.

Life, however, is still far from normal.

We continue to do weekly dressing changes - we had a full day yesterday and so she fell asleep during the change - it is hard to imagine kids screaming through it, but we are certainly blessed to not have that problem. She happily puts on her mask and then holds her hands above her head until it is done.

She has been gaining weight, and we've started up the steroid tapering off again and doctor visits are every other week, once a month to Dartmouth and once a month to Boston, so that schedule is nicer too. It is possible that the steroid taper will be increased and be done soon, which then triggers the start of the cyclosporine (immunosuppressant) taper, which will be the end of the meds entirely!

Her nasogastric tube fell out while she was sleeping last week.... She woke up in the morning and brought the tube down already pushed out of her throat. So, we proceeded to the semi-unapproved installation of a new tube, and it went successfully.... We'll see what Boston says about that on Wednesday. Last time, Dartmouth recorded the procedure as "without contacting medical providers", and did an x-ray to confirm proper placement, but didn't explicitly forbid it in the future.... I think that because we know the exact length of the insertion, there is fairly little risk involved—a nurse at Children's told me that she will really start coughing if it is in her lungs rather than her stomach, and we verify the pH after insertion as well. (The supply house apparently thinks it is reasonable for us to do the procedure, because they send all the equipment to do so, though maybe they are thinking a visiting nurse—they are sometimes surprised to hear that we do dressing changes ourselves.)

Faith, big sister and bone marrow donor, has been doing well also. This donation recovery period, which was supposed to last no more than a couple of weeks, has been a long, slow process involving physical therapy and chiropractic care. (The transplant doctors pretty much washed their hands of the problem.) But she estimates that she is now "98% back," and has been able to enjoy playing on the high school girls' soccer team, which means a lot to her. Her coach and her teammates have been great, encouraging her to play when she can and rest when she needs to. They even celebrated Leukemia Awareness Month—the "color" of which is orange—by dedicating a game and a fundraiser to Grace, Faith, and their whole family.

(click to enlarge)

The high school principal said there was a "sea of orange" in the school that day, and there were a lot of people wearing orange at the game.

The team raised about $1600! The opposing team gave the family flowers, though they did not go so far as to refrain from winning the game.

Grace's "numbers" have been doing very well, as has she herself.  But at today's clinic visit, her creatinine level was elevated, and that was confirmed by a repeat test.  This indicates potential trouble with her kidneys, so she is scheduled for a kidney ultrasound on Friday.

Thank you, as always, treasured pray-ers.