Lift Up Your Hearts!

This morning's Happiness Moment came in our living room, dark save for the illumination of the Christmas tree, in a time of quiet meditation and prayer.  Gazing at the tree, I recalled my childhood Christmas trees, and favorite ornaments, and all the joys of decorating, and baking, and family times.  I listened to my husband and his father working quietly in the kitchen.  And life was suddenly very good.

In keeping with my efforts at chronicling those indefinable, momentary feelings of happiness that catch me almost by surprise, I'll mention one that occurred last night, fleeting but sweet.  It was inspired, I'm sure, by an admixture of a good friend's visit, a dinner of a particularly good quiche, and good fellowship around dessert with a centerpiece of an amazing Canadian ice wine and an associated lecture from the Great Courses on the subject.  The actual moment, however, came later, while looking into our new shower (pictures to come), which added overtones of beauty, good work done well, and a sense of being clean, warm, and at home.

Perhaps it is the wine course that leads me to try to describe these "happiness moments" as if they were wines.

I often puzzle about what makes me happy.  What do I enjoy, what do I find to be fun, what conditions make me stop and think, almost with a start, "I am happy"?

It's surprisingly difficult to discern.  So what I'm going to try to do this year is make a note of those moments, and the circumstances under which they occurred.  It goes without saying that many, more fundamental factors undergird this happiness, but what I'm seeking at this point is the extras that bring the joy bubbling to the surface.

Today, for example, I felt the surge of joy for "no particular reason"  My father-in-law was reading contentedly in his recliner chair; my husband working away in his office (perhaps not so contentedly, but without obvious signs of discontent); I was unhurriedly working ("labor without perturbation") on bringing order to the house and organization to the New Year (activities I always find quietly satisfying if I am not under time pressure); there was good music playing in the background, including recently (thanks to the random selection of our music player) a selection from the soundtrack to Local Hero, which always makes me smile, because it makes me think of my brother and how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family (even though it's a bittersweet joy as I grieve once again that we are so far apart); and I smiled again at the memory of a three-way phone call with our children.

A full cup of quiet happiness is hard to beat.

Focusing on the Foundations
Concentration:  Mental
Category:  Reading
Goal:  Read A History of the Medieval World by February 14

Reading is foundational for intellectual grown, and reading history all the more so.  My 2013 goal of reading fifty-two books has already been mentioned, and will be chronicled under "Books Read" in the sidebar.  Having finished 2012 with several short books, I'm starting 2013 somewhat ambitiously.  I enjoyed Susan Wise Bauer's A History of the Ancient World, and had bought the sequel more than two years ago.  Since her next book, The History of the Renaissance World, is due to be published this September, I decided to give Medieval World high priority. 

This takes prioritizing, and goal-setting, because it's 667 pages long.  It's enjoyable, but dense, and not conducive to casual reading.  I'd originally planned to give myself three months to finish it (reading other books in parallel, of course), but halved the time when I realized that goal had me schlepping a three-pound book through airports.  Still, reading 14 pages/day should not be difficult, IF I make it a specific goal.

Focusing on the Foundations
Concentration:  Physical
Category:  Health
Goal:  A 10 p.m. bedtime

I'm dividing my Foundation 2013 efforts into three categories:  Physical, Mental, and Spiritual.  Not that I believe that body, mind, and spirit are truly separate, any more than the Christian Trinity is separable.  As with the Trinity, however, it is sometimes helpful to consider the "persons" individually, if only for the sake of balance.  I could have chosen different categories, or more, or fewer—but these will do, and I have a pernicious tendency toward analysis paralysis, so it is what it is.

Anyway, a first step that requires little analysis is to set a consistent bedtime of 10 p.m.  That means in bed with the lights out, so all the preliminaries must be completed before then.  For most of my life I've let circumstances (some avoidable, some not) dictate my bedtime, but it's abundantly clear that I do better in almost every way when I'm in bed by ten and asleep soon thereafter.  Of course there will always be exceptions, but with this goal I choose "rules with occasional exceptions" over anarchy.

What I need next is a system of measuring progress/compliance with the goals I set.  As I've discovered with my book-reading goal, what gets measured is much more likely to be accomplished.  But first, a first step.  (See above comment about analysis paralysis.)

While Advent or Lent would seem to be more obvious seasons for reflection and resolution than New Year's Eve, which falls right in the middle of Christmas, it's actually a logical time for me.  Advent provides plenty of inspiration for generating random thoughts about improvements to be made—though no time for actually doing much about it—and by halfway through the Twelve Days of Christmas  I am sufficiently sated with festivity to be happy to focus on simplicity, austerity, and discipline.

I don't normally make much of birthday milestones, and my 60th birthday this year was no exception.  Nonetheless I find myself considering 2013 to be a foundational year for the next 30 years of my life, just as an infant's first year is fundamental in setting the course of his growth to maturity.

My initial thought was to focus on health, a not unreasonable goal at an age when good health seems to require more effort than it once did.  Health will still be a major concern, but I've decided to broaden this year's concentration to all the foundations of life.  In this new post category—Foundations 2013—I will be sharing some of my efforts to figure out just what I mean by that.  I won't be attempting to define what counts as "fundamental" for anyone but myself—though He Who Lives With Me can't help being affected by my choices, so I hope we're at least somewhat on the same page—but I'll post about it in hopes of clarifying  my own thoughts, keeping myself accountable, eliciting suggestions, and perhaps providing ideas or inspiration to others.

One things I know:  focusing on fundamentals is not intended to be  a "Back to Basics" move as defined by schools that drop art and music in favor of more drill in reading and arithmetic.  Rather, I view it as strengthening foundations instead of continuing to build at the top.  Or perhaps pruning a bush and fertilizing the roots to encourage healthier growth.   At any rate, I plan to help prioritize my actions by asking, "Does this contribute to the foundation, or add to an already top-heavy structure?"  Thus I hope to distinguish between the good and the better.  For example, I may cut down on the number of blogs I follow, not because they are bad or uninteresting—I weeded those out long ago—but because I know that reading them will add to my already-overburdened pile of things I want to blog about.  I may actually turn down an offer from Penzey's for a free jar of one of their new spices, simply because I'm already overwhelmed with spice jars.  I may pass up any number of important and/or enjoyable activities in favor of getting to bed on time on a regular basis, in order to be able to give my best to the more important and most enjoyable.

I'm not judging anything as off limits entirely, and I'm not cutting myself off from these good things forever.  Just for a season—a season of regrouping, rejuvenating, and shoring up a 60-year-old edifice to be able to handle the slings and arrows of the next 30 years.

At least that's the theory.  Now to figure out the practice.

I should be working on a more profound post, such as my New Year's resolutions, but going through my neglected inbox provoked a quick post for your bemusement.  It's always important to read the instructions for a new appliance, right?  So before tossing the single sheet that came with the electric lift/recliner chair we bought in honor of my father-in-law's visit, I felt obliged to look it over.  (Never mind that we've been using the chair for a month....)

Really, I do usually read instructions, and I certainly keep them for anything important.  However, the single "instruction" was a very large image of a controller with two buttons, one labelled "Down" and the other labelled "Up."  I'm pretty sure I can remember that.

The reverse of the page is more interesting.  The Important Safety Instructions there include:

• Do not reach for a product that has fallen into water.  Unplug immediately.
• Do not use while bathing or in a shower.

Did I mention that this is a recliner chair?  A large, heavy, recliner chair?  It's theoretically possible that a tornado could deposit it in our swimming pool (conveniently unplugging it as well), but by no stretch of the imagination can I conceive of installing it in the shower, even if it would fit.

We laughed when the safety instructions started telling us not to use our hair dryers in the shower.  This is beyond laughter into head-shaking grief at the state of society.  Who needs a Fiscal Cliff?  We've already jumped off a more dangerous precipice.

Drive:  The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel H. Pink (Riverhead Books, 2009)

Drive is yet another book I read because it was on my son-in-law's Amazon wish list.  We gave it to him for Christmas, and I hope he reads it soon so my daughter can read it, too.  Although the focus of the book is on motivation in business, the material is widely applicable, and I find it exciting.

I had barely begun the book when I exclaimed to myself, "Published in 2009?  This is news?  It sounds exactly like what we learned a decade ago from Edward Deci and Richard Ryan."  That was at a University of Rochester "Meliora Weekend" of lectures and seminars.  I looked up my journal entry from the time, to be certain:

Our next stop was the chapel, for “Your Personal Freedom” with Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, U of R psychology professors who are world renowned experts on autonomy and human motivation.  I found them fascinating, much more so than I’d expected.  From them I heard what I’d only heard before in Alfie Kohn’s Punished by Rewards, that rewards as well as punishments destroy intrinsic motivation.  They cited one experiment in which people were paid to do what they enjoyed doing, and were doing without pay, but then stopped doing once the pay stopped.  I spoke with them afterwards about Punished by Rewards, which they said is based on their research, only is a bit too polemic, too one-sided, missing out on the positive values of encouragement, but otherwise true.  I surprised myself by having the courage to speak up during the question and answer session.  They had talked a lot about motivation in schools, but never mentioned homeschooling.  Since I’m convinced that one of the best things about homeschooling is that so many home educated children develop strong intrinsic motivation, and a great love of learning, it seems to me an important phenomenon to investigate.  To my surprise, they have not studied it at all, and while they seemed to agree with me about the intrinsic motivation of homeschoolers, they were very cautious and seemed hesitant to appear to endorse homeschooling in any way.

I was so impressed, in fact, that I later bought Deci's book for laymen, Why We Do What We Do.

Sure enough, Pink quotes and references Deci and Ryan, Alfie Kohn, and others whose research was done even earlier.  But Drive is invaluable not only because he ties all the research together and extends it, but because despite the very clear and well-established case for the superiority of intrinsic motivation and the negative effect of "carrots and sticks" on motivation, engagement, and especially creativity,  no one is listening.  Well, not no one, but very few.  Pink sites some encouraging news from forward-thinking businesses, and he does not neglect the example of homeschoolers, particularly their unschooling subset.

The only thing I found annoying about Drive was Pink's repeated use of the phrase,  "The science says..." in exactly the same manner some people aver, "The Bible says...."  Overdone, either weakens the case being made.

Other than that, I have nothing negative to say.  It's a great book, full of even greater ideas.  I wish there were more practical examples in non-business areas (homemaking, childrearing, homeschooling), but that's not the book Pink was writing.  There may be more online if I dig a bit.

I read the book in a hurry, so there are no quotations for you this time.  Perhaps the above-mentioned son-in-law will come through; he does a better job with that than I do, anyway.  Here, however, is a Dan Pink TED talk to get you started:

Three years ago, I took a look at my reading habits and discovered to my shock that—avid bookworm though I am—my reading was disproportionately of blogs, news stories, online articles, and magazines, rather than of more substantial literature.  Therefore my first resolution of 2010 was to read more books.  Looking back at the end of that year, I pronounced the effort an unqualified success:  I had completed sixty-five books of great variety.

The next year, however, showed a different story.  Without a deliberate and conscious effort, my reading list for 2011 had shrunk to a mere thirty-three books.  I then resolved to do better in 2012, setting my goal at a moderate fifty-two, one for each week of the year.

Well, 2012 had its ups and downs, as the reading habit went.  When I realized in mid-December that I was still two months' worth of reading short, I nearly despaired.  But by searching out the shortest books on the shelves I was able to reach the goal.  I don't count it cheating, as they were genuinely on my "To Read" list, but I hope to pay more attention next year and not have to scramble at the end.

One book per week seems both reasonable and attainable, so that is my goal for 2013 as well.

Inspired by my sister-in-law (whose book total for this year is a mind-blowing 71), I've picked out my favorite books from 2012 (in alphabetical order); the following are the thirteen I gave five-star ratings.  I have no idea what the selection says about me.

• The Bone House by Stephen Lawhead
• Drive by Daniel H. Pink
• The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
• Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin
• How to Have a 48-Hour Day by Don Aslett
• The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
• Leaving Microsoft to Change the World by John Wood
• Let the Baby Drive by Lu Hanessian
• Life Is So Good by George Dawson and Richard Glaubman
• Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
• Manalive by G. K. Chesterton
• Summer at Fairacre by Miss Read  
• Switch by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Here's the whole list, sorted alphabetically.  A chronological listing, with links, is here.

1. The American Adventure #8: Smallpox Strikes by Norma Jean Lutz
2. The American Adventure #9: Maggie's Choice by Norma Jean Lutz
3. The American Adventure #14: Earthquake in Cincinnati by Bonnie Hinman  
4. The American Adventure #16: Escape from Slavery by Norma Jean Lutz  
5. The American Adventure #17: Cincinnati Epidemic by Veda Boyd Jones  
6. The American Adventure #37: The Flu Epidemic by JoAnn A. Grote  
7. The American Adventure #38: Women Win the Vote by JoAnn A. Grote 
8. The Bone House by Stephen Lawhead
9. A Boy's War by David Michell
10. Drive by Daniel H. Pink  
11. Earthen Vessels by Matthew Lee Anderson  
12. Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them by John Ortberg  
13. Except the Dying by Maureen Jennings
14. Favorite Celtic Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs
15. The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew by Margaret Sidney
16. From Pearl Harbor to Calvary by Mitsuo Fuchida (audio book)  
17. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
18. Haiku, Origami, and More by Judith May Newton and Mayumi Tabuchi  
19. Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn Rubin  
20. Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin  
21. Hoi: Your Swiss German Survival Guide by Sergio J. Lievano and Nocole Egger
22. How to Have a 48-Hour Day by Don Aslett  
23. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
24. In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen
25. The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney
26. Irish Fairy Tales by Philip Smith
27. Leaving Microsoft to Change the World by John Wood 
28. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip van Winkle by Washington Irving
29. Let the Baby Drive by Lu Hanessian  
30. Life Is So Good by George Dawson and Richard Glaubman  
31. Luke's Story by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins  
32. Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath  
33. Manalive by G. K. Chesterton
34. Mark's Story by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
35. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
36. Miracles by Tim Stafford  
37. No, We Can't by Robert Stearns  
38. Quiet by Susan Cain  
39. Scaling Down by Judi Culbertson and Marj Decker
40. Scottish Fairy Tales by Donald A. Mackenzie 
41. The Skin Map by Stephen Lawhead (audio book)  
42. Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley  
43. Spiritual Formation by Henri Nouwen  
44. Summer at Fairacre by Miss Read  
45. The Stories of Emmy by Doris Smith Naundorf  
46. Switch by Chip Heath and Dan Heath  
47. When to Speak Up and When to Shut Up by Michael D. Sedler  
48. Wonderful Fool by Shusaku Endo  
49. The Xenophobe's Guide to the Americans by Stephanie Faul  
50. The Xenophobe's Guide to the Canadians by Vaughn Roste  
51. The Xenophobe's Guide to the Japanese by Sahoko Kaji, Noriki Hama, and Jonathan Rice  
52. The Xenophobe's Guide to the Swiss by Paul Bilton

No, not that Christmas Miracle.

It was The Christmas Without Stress.  Or at least a whole lot less.

The day before was stressful enough, if fun, with a last-minute change of plans that resulted in our spending a full day at Sea World with our guests, followed by a late-night Christmas Eve service and a going-to-bed time of well after midnight.  The last's enough to stress me out all by itself.  But the service was beautiful and relaxed, because our big Christmas choir event had been Lessons and Carols earlier in the month, and the next morning was peaceful.  The youngest child being 20, it was even quiet—and we had a leisurely day with rounds of opening presents punctuated by eating and highlighted by communications with family on two continents.  (Skype is God's gift to grandparents who can't be with their grandchildren on Christmas.)

I'm slowly learning to lower the pressure on myself.  Christmas cards are appreciated even if they arrive after December 25^th.  Guests are happy to visit even if the kitchen floor doesn't get mopped until after they arrive.  A good meal is not ruined by Pillsbury rolls instead of homemade bread.  And if some things don't get done, well, as our choir director—as calm and Christlike a man as I know—often says, "It is what it is."  Surprisingly often, that's okay.

Christmas dinner is often stressful, but I'm getting more relaxed about that, too, and this Christmas the kitchen elves pitched in at just right time with just the right help.  It didn't hurt that the roast beef came out beautifully, evenly rare.

Labor without perturbation, readiness without hurry, no haste and no hesitation (George MacDonald) is still my goal.  The miracle is that this year I came a little closer.

I don't deny that the world might end today; it's going to end sometime.  I knew one guy who would occasionally look up at an impressive looking sky and say, "That would be a good cloud for the Lord to return on!"  But he knew better than to predict a specific day.  What floors me is the number of people who scorn those who have listened to other "end of the world" predictions in the past, yet seriously think it might end today.  Oh, the power of rumor in the Internet Age!  Children have been calling NASA to ask the best way to euthanize their pets so they don't have to suffer through the end!  Where are these kids' parents, and what Kool-Aid have they been feeding their children?

Figuring the best way to counter nonsense is often to ignore it, that's what I'd planned to do, until my nephew came up with the best take on the situation, which he posted yesterday:

The end of the world is tomorrow.  I got my drivers permit today.  Does anyone else see a connection here?

I've written about Biscoff Spread, aka Speculoos à Tartiner before.  Thanks to a tip from my sister-in-law, yesterday I made Biscoff fudge.  I tried the recipe from this site almost verbatim the first time, using the creamy version of the spread and substituting butter for margarine.  The second time I tried the crunchy, and used half the vanilla called for.  Both results were very good, but I prefer the smooth Speculoos and the smaller amount of vanilla.  I'd love to research other fudge recipes to use as a base, but that's a future project.  The recipe from the bakerella.com site, with my alterations, follows:

Biscoff Fudge

1 1/2 cups sugar
6 Tablespoons butter
1/3 cup evaporated milk
1/4 tsp vanilla (or 1/8 tsp Penzey's double-strength vanilla, which is what I used)
1/2 cup Biscoff spread (creamy or crunchy)
3.5 oz. or half a jar of Marshmallow Creme

1. Combine sugar, butter, and evaporated milk in a medium pot.
2. Bring to full rolling boil, stirring constantly.
3. Reduce heat to medium and continue boiling for 4 minutes, stirring constantly to prevent scorching.  (Actually, with my stove I started at Medium and came to a full rolling boil from there.)
4. Remove from heat and stir in Biscoff spread until melted.
5. Add marshmallow creme and vanilla. Use a mixer to beat in the pot until well blended.
6. Pour into greased 8 X 8 pan.
7. Let cool and cut into small squares.

This makes a delicious fudge.  It's a bit drier than I prefer (not as smooth and creamy as most fudges), but that might be solved with some tweaking of the cooking time.  It's also very sweet, so make the pieces quite small when you cut it.

Last year, my Christmas Eve post included the following comment.  It seems appropriate to offer a reprise today.

Nine Christmases ago, while the world was singing blithely of joyous birth, we were mourning the death of our first grandchild, whose last breath came but two days after his first.  The haunting Coventry Carol spoke to me then as none other.  This reminder that the First Christmas was not a facile Peace on Earth and Joy to the World, and that the first Christian martyrs were Jewish children, is for all who mourn this Christmas, especially those who have suffered the loss of a child.

I've set my alarm to remind me to pay attention at 12:12:12 today; otherwise it's sure to slide past unnoticed.  I'm sure if I'd check Facebook someone would remind me, but....

Porter says this BBC story is a good summary of what he saw when visiting the Boeing plant on his visit to Seattle.  Enjoy!  Pretty WOW, I think.

Sorry about the extraneous "-->".  It's in the BBC's code, and I'm not taking the time to mess with it. Sorry, too, about the ad at the beginning; that also is theirs  If you happen to get the Air New Zealand one, though, it's pretty cool itself.