Lift Up Your Hearts!

Pre-Internet, I wrote to letters to the Orlando Sentinel a lot.  That's "to," not "for"; no money came my way, though I was invited three times to a nice dinner at their Letter Writers' Forum.  Got a nice tea mug each time, too.  Then I found other outlets for my writing obsession.  Specifically, this blog, which is both more "local" in the sense of reaching family and close friends—though they read it from all over the world—and more global, with a potential audience much larger than that of a local paper.  My print output plummeted.

But yesterday, on a whim, I decided to write down my mental rebuttal to a recent article and send it in.  The process is much faster these days, and my letter appeared in today's paper.  The article, which I've linked to on another site since the Sentinel has started charging for online access to much of their content, concerned our increasing propensity for outsourcing our personal lives.  I, too, deplore the tendency, but what inspired me to write was a quotation from sociology professor Arlie Russell Hochschild, author of The Outsourced Self: Intimate Life in Market Times, who appears to blame the situation on the commercialization of life.

These services are only likely to proliferate in a world that undermines community, disparages government, marginalizes nonprofits and believes in the superiority of what's for sale.

To which I replied, "Huh?" before setting down something more articulate.  My letter is still (at the moment) available on the Sentinel site (it's the last one), but in case it disappears, I invoke author's privilege and publish it here, as well.  (The headline is the Sentinel's, not mine.)

Ultimate trust: Send a child to school

Turning over to professionals more and more of what we used to call "living" is indeed a disturbing sociological trend ("Outsourcing your life," Orlando Sentinel, Aug. 9).

Professor Arlie Russell Hochschild is wise in her recommendation that each of us must make his own, reasoned decisions and choose what is simply too personal and too important to trust to strangers.

But in attributing the outsourcing trend to "a world that ... disparages government" she is forgetting that it is the government, not commercial interests, to which we have long entrusted much that is highly personal and vitally important. Most of us now expect the police, not the rifle hanging over the door, to keep our families safe from marauders.

And every time families send new kindergartners to public school, they are expressing a faith in government unsurpassed by anything religion could hope for.

So sad.  Our washing machine gave great service for over 10 years, so I guess in terms of today's normal appliance lifespan it doesn't owe us anything.  But it is still in great shape, inside and out, according to the repairman who just left.  Unfortunately, the motor is giving out, and it's a problem that is not repairable -- only because that motor is no longer made, and replacing it (which our repairman used to do all the time with no trouble) now costs too much to be worthwhile.  How sad that a good machine must end up as scrap just because the company would rather sell new machines than old parts.

On a related note:  has anyone bought a machine in the last five years and been happy with it?  If so, what are your recommendations?  (I limit it to the last five years because apparently some brands have made major changes recently that have significantly affect lifespan.)  Thanks!

This is happening to a friend of a friend.  Really.  This is not an urban legend.  :)  f you don't believe me, you can watch the press conference video below.  But if it weren't for Facebook, I would probably not have discovered the connection.

Gavin and Carrie Jones, along with their eight-year-old son, Isaac, normally live in Papua New Guinea.  They came back to the U.S. so Gavin, a helicopter pilot, could upgrade his skills, and were given a gift that will extend their furlough a bit longer than planned:  Carrie just delivered (via a carefully planned and orchestrated c-section) five tiny babies, three boys and two girls.  Unlike others we've known in similarly difficult circumstances, they've chosen not to keep their story private.  As Gavin said, the more people who are praying for their babies, the better.

If you'd like, you can follow their story, and the progress of little Will, David, Marcie, Seth, and Grace on their blog.  I'm getting e-mail updates from my friend, and Facebook updates as well, but I still go to the blog for the full story.  I'm a sucker for babies....

The press conference is 35 minutes long, but neat to see.  I am so impressed by how poised and articulate the parents are, especially Carrie, who is dealing with five desperately needy babies and raging post-pregnancy hormones.  Even Isaac does well, though you can tell he's a bit shell-shocked.

Update 10/10/2019:  The embedded video no longer works, but you can see it by following this link.

When Porter came home from a two-week business trip, he commented, "Wow, the house looks great!"  I was momentarily taken aback, because—in contrast with many of his previous out-of-town stays—I had not done anything special to prepare for his arrival. On the contrary, the house had looked that good for more than a week.^*

(victory)

Lower case, no exclamation point, sotto voce—lest the shy bird be startled and take flight, as she has so many times before.  But I told my daughters that if I lasted a month with my new organizational system, I'd write about it.

I'd like to be an original thinker, but what I'm actually proficient at is assembling, compiling, and melding other people's good ideas into something that fits my situation.  This was especially true in family life and education, where what at first glance may have appeared unique, or at least unusual, was merely my take on the best of what I found from a multitude of sources.

So, too, with my efforts at organization and homemaking.  At the heart of my new system is David Allen's Getting Things Done, but discerning readers will recognize the influence of Don Aslett, Steven Covey, FlyLady, Sandra Felton, Malcolm Gladwell, and a host of other inspirations, including family and friends.

I made my first effort to implementing GTD two years ago.  I knew then that I'd been handed an extremely powerful tool that would reform my life.   I made myself a Tickler file, I created Next Action folders, and I reaped significant benefit from them ... but the whole system never really got off the ground.  Mostly, I told myself, because "life interfered"—travel, visitors, and other disruptions shook up the system before it could become established as a habit.  Not that I would have traded any of the wonderful experiences I had, but they were, in my mind, the reason I didn't make progress.

Now I'm not so sure.  I'd be a fool to deny the detrimental effects of disruptions (especially unhappy ones) on a newborn self-improvement program, but in this case I now believe the crucial problem was that I had not had time (made time / had inspiration) to customize the program, to make it my own.

Porter's trip was the inspiration for tackling that project.  I'll spare you the nitty-gritty of the construction, except to say that most importantly it was a recursive process.  We perfectionists prefer that our projects have a long design phase.  "Measure twice, cut once" is our motto, and besides, planning is usually much more fun than implementation.  But what got this project off the ground and into a useful form was an ongoing design-implement-evaluate-revise-repeat plan.  Sometimes (often?) you just don't know what will work until you try it.

Enough talk.  So what am I actually doing?

I'm still using my Tickler file.  I love having a place to "file and forget until needed" concert tickets, driving directions for a future trip, birthday cards I've been inspired to write but which won't be mailed until later, information to bring to a doctor appointment, etc.

I'm also using Allen's Next Action, Projects, and Someday/Maybe folders, though this part still needs some revision.

Although these are anathema to GTD, my system relies on to-do lists.  I'm over trying to fit myself into what "should" work, and at leat at this point in my life, I need the inspiration of seeing the day's work laid out in front of me, with little check boxes that I can triumphantly, physically, mark off when the task is completed.  What's more, although i can do preliminary work on the lists in advance, I also need the inspiration of creating a customized list the night before, specifically for the next day, and printing it out.  I've tried putting my lists on the computer, and it just doesn't work for me.  At least not now.

The lists take two forms:

A Routine List, which sets out the basics of what I want to accomplish every day.  These are so standard that I print the list only once per week, and it has checkboxes for Monday through Saturday.  This list owes a lot to FlyLady's Morning and Evening Routines, but mine covers the whole day.  For example, the worms need their "air conditioning" refreshed once a day, and it makes no sense to give them their frozen water bottle in the morning or the evening:  they need it during the hottest part of the day.  Also, I want to work through my language exercises four times per day, spread out more or less evenly.  The lists are roughly divided into before and after mealtimes, but there's a good bit of overlap and flexibility as well. 

Daily Lists lay out, for each weekday and Saturday, what I hope to accomplish that day.  Some items are standard, such as "take out trash" on Mondays and Thursdays, and "yard work" on Tuesdays.  Others I fill in during my Weekly Review time, during which I evaluate the past week and look forward to the next.  Still others are added as I think of them during the week.  It all comes together the night before, when I check my Tickler and my Action folders, transferring items to the Daily List as appropriate, and printing the final result.  Did I say final?  Not really.  Often I'll add something by hand that comes up after the list has been printed.

It is easy to let the lists get out of hand.  I keep my Routine List to one page, with the table set up so that I can't put more than 38 items on the list.  In order to fit in what I want, I sometimes cheat by grouping items, e.g. "check & clear e-mail / blogs / Facebook / moderate comments" is one item.  That works because I don't group items until they have become such a habit that they get done together and I'm happy not checking them off until all are accomplished.  When I'm establishing new habits I need the satisfaction of checking of the baby steps; once established, I am okay with the groups and can take on the challenge of making room for something new on the list.

The Daily Lists are also one page only, and I've made the table size bigger so there's only room for 18 entries.  Sometimes I fill them all, sometimes I don't.  The trick, I've found, is having enough to challenge me but not so many that I get discouraged.  Too few items and I procrastinate because I think I have lots of time; too many and I procrastinate because "I'm not going to get them all done, anyway."  Ideally I find myself stretching to get just a couple more things done so I can have the satisfaction of completing the list.  I'm still working on getting the right balance.  I don't prioritize the items, exactly, but the Daily Lists are roughly divided into "must do" and "would like to do" tasks.

Daily and weekly jobs go on the printed lists, but anything less frequent than weekly gets a card that goes into my Tickler file.  Originally I had cards for daily and weekly tasks in my Tickler (despite Allen's admonition not to), but I've found the lists work much better for me.  For biweekly, monthly, or other less frequent items, however, the Tickler is still the simpler solution.

That's the basic structure.  Simple, no?  But the devil—and the success—was in the details.  It was a grueling two weeks, mentally and physically, as I gradually put it all together.  Monday and Tuesday went swimmingly, but by Wednesday afternoon I found myself exhausted—mostly mentally, I'll admit, though the constant low-level pain of a flare-up of plantar fasciitis can't be ignored as a limiting factor.  I had been working pretty steadily from 6 a.m. till 10 p.m. for two and a half days, and had put too much on Wednesday's list, so that I moved out of the stretch zone and into the procrastinate zone.  Quadrant IV activities were looking pretty good.  It's hard to explain, but in many ways it was the structure that was the mental drain.  Although my plan included three sets per day of purposeful relaxation exercises, I hadn't left any time in the schedule for spontaneity, the lack of which my mind interpreted as a need for rest.  I scaled back for Thursday and managed to recover my energy and my momentum.

The next week I anticipated the Wednesday slump, made sure I structured the activities to be more rewarding and less taxing, and managed not to hit the wall until Friday.  By the third week, even though I was doing more, I had begun to ride the wave, and the structure became my friend rather than my enemy.  I had created a workable system, and along the way had made good progress in several far-behind areas of my life.

That, believe it or not, is the short version.  Below are some details and a few observations I've made along the way: (More)

It was my kind of outing:  a great concert, not far away, and only 50 minutes long.  Central Florida Community Arts presented an all-John Rutter choral concert at the Maitland Presbyterian Church.  I love Rutter's music, and I'm so happy to be in a church where we get to sing a lot of it.  In fact, just last Sunday we sang the concert opener, For the Beauty of the Earth, so all the notes were fresh in our memories.  The other works were A Dedication and Amen, A Gaelic Blessing, Tomorrow Shall Be My Dancing Day, and The Lord Bless You and Keep You, concluding with the marvellous Gloria.

For your listening pleasure, here's a version of For the Beauty of the Earth that's better than both what we sang and what we heard  :)

I didn't see Aly Raisman win her Olympic gold medal in floor exercise, as it was shown past even my Olympic-extended bedtime.  But I did watch the balance beam competition earlier, and that's where I saw her gold-medal performance.  Yes, I know she won bronze on balance beam.  But until her shockingly low score was re-evaluated and raised by the judges, she thought she had lost to Romanian Catalina Ponor.

What did Raisman do when she realized she had lost the bronze?  Did she cry, or swear, or sulk?  No, she walked over to Ponor and gave her a congratulatory hug.

Frankly, I find the Olympics mostly boring these days, now that the competitors and their performances are no longer amateur.  As a friend of ours, a National Football League referee, once said of football, "Don't kid yourself.  This is about business, not sport."  Raisman's display of good sportsmanship was the best thing I've seen from the London Olympics so far.

Skip this post if you are tired of reading about our fabulous grandchildren.  :)

I was talking with Janet the other day, and as I usually do, I asked what new cute things our grandkids were doing.

"Well," she replied, "Joseph counted nearly to 50."

This puzzled me, as numbers are his passion and a month ago he had happily counted past 150 for me.

Then she added, "in Japanese."

Last night we attended a very enjoyable performance of The Pirates of Penzance, proceeds of which were earmarked for a much-needed upgrade to the sound system at the Lake Brantley High School auditorium.  Our choir director and several people from our church were involved.  We almost joined the chorus, but demured after remembering that being involved in a theatrical performance is synonymous with having no outside life.  Daily rehearsals were more than we could handle.  Still, I regret somewhat losing the opportunity to be able to say that every member of our family had sat, however briefly, under the direction of Cindy Berry.

The show was great!  Everyone from the principals (local arts educators) to the middle-school policemen did wonderfully well.  The Pirate King was played by Christopher McCabe, Brantley alumnus and now the theater director at a local private school.  (I believe he was a freshman when Janet was a senior and no longer spending much time on campus, so don't wrack your brains trying to remember him.)  If his performance owed just a little too much to Johnny Depp, that didn't stop him from stealing the show.

Pour, oh pour the pirate sherry, fill, oh fill the pirate glass—and raise it in a toast to Joyce K., who taught us to love Gilbert & Sullivan.

Happy Swiss National Day to our family and friends across the sea!

Here are sixteen-plus minutes of this year's fireworks in Basel, in case you missed them in person.  I didn't sit through the whole show, but what I did see was very impressive.

Whenever we're not out of the state—or the country—on July 4, our favorite way to celebrate Independence Day is marching with the Greater Geneva Grande Award Marching Band.  That's Geneva, Florida, population 2,940 give or take a few, not the larger and more famous Swiss version.  I can't complain about missing the parade this year, as we instead spent the day with family and friends, some of whom had flown all the way from Switzerland (not Geneva) or the Gambia (think West Africa) to be there! 

But if we had not been in such illustrious company and more than a thousand miles from home, we'd have been with our GGGAMB family.  Camaraderie, music (and then some), free hot dogs, all the water you can drink (and sweat away), the fun of interacting with the crowd, and my all-time favorite arrangement of the Star-Spangled Banner (we miss you, Greg!), all wrapped up in a pleasant mix of old American patriotism and new American diversity.

I've written about the event before (for example, last year), but this time I have videos!  We're not in them, but you'll get the idea well enough.

The band plays All Hail, Geneva! with our trademark Union Break in the middle.

If that experience didn't make you run from the room screaming, you can find more from the band here.  (Janet, I recommend you click on that link and scroll to the bottom of the page.)

Richard, you did a great job with the cymbals, but I'm coming back anyway.

If we didn't live in Mickey's backyard, I don't know if our kids would ever have been to Disney World.  They never were much into the Disney characters, and (thankfully) were born too soon to be part of the Disney Princess craze.  But there’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will—our children grew up in Central Florida, and between good Florida resident deals and free tickets earned through performances at the parks, Disney World was a formative influence in their lives, and ours as well.  EPCOT Center, most especially.  It was hands down their favorite park, from the very beginning; fortunately, it was their parents' favorite park as well.

It is for them, as well as us, that I share this "heartfelt tribute to EPCOT Center as it existed from 1982-1993."  The way it used to be, which of course is much better than it is today.  Really.  (H/T Ruth S., a World's Worst Marching Band friend)

Natsukashi!

How to Have a 48-Hour Day by Don Aslett (Marsh Creek Press, 1996)

I've always found Don Aslett's books inspiring, and I first read and reviewed this one over ten years ago.  This week I decided it was about time for a re-read, especially since I was looking for something quick, easy, and not too mentally challenging.

I found it more challenging this time than last.  Not mentally, but emotionally.  I didn't really want to hear, "Just suck it up and work harder," which is how the message struck me this time.  I found it less inspiring than discouraging, and thus easier to quarrel with some of his premises and logic.  On the other hand, I recognize that there's still a lot of wisdom in the book, so instead of picking it apart, I'll reproduce my original review:

“If you want to get something done, ask a busy person.” How to Have a 48–Hour Day explains why this saying is true. If you’re looking for a book that suggests you can accomplish more by doing less, you will be disappointed: This is like one of those tiresome diet books that tell you the only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more.

As he does in many of his other books, Aslett tells us things that we already know, but in such a way that we believe them. He provides no great revelation, no fancy organizational system. Instead, he dresses up wisdom in an entertaining, inspirational package. A few of his suggestions—such as cutting back on sleep—go too far, but most represent sound, common sense.

• It’s good, not bad, to be productive. People who get things done generally find that success, happiness, confidence, respect, motivation, options, influence, and security follow.
• The measure of productivity is not how hard you work, nor how busy you are, but what you actually accomplish.
• To do more, first do less. Get rid of unnecessary and unhelpful possessions, activities, relationships, habits, distractions, interruptions, and worries that clutter your life and divert your time and attention from what is important.
• Determine your direction. From ethical values to career goals to family relationships, knowing where you are going makes it possible to set priorities and think clearly when you come to a crossroads.
• Realize that you are going to have to learn to work within the time you have. Finding a large block of time in which you can catch up is about as likely as getting out of debt by winning the lottery.
• BE EARLY. This is his most important point. Work ahead, not behind. Keep a “frontlog”—a list of things to do ahead—rather than a backlog. Being early eliminates deadline stress, allows for more options, and reduces the chance that you will be derailed by unexpected problems.
• Keep many irons in the fire; be working on a variety of projects simultaneously. As long as you’re working well on a particular project, keep going. When your interest and concentration wane, “jump ship” to another project. If you have a large “to do” list and are working ahead instead of behind, you can work at your peak for each job, and rest by doing different work, rather than stopping. As a side benefit, your subconscious often continues to work on the previous project after you’ve switched, so you may find additional insights when you return. With many goals to work toward, you can always be making progress even if you run in to an obstacle or find yourself in a slump.
• Keep your schedule flexible. If you tie yourself down too rigidly, you won’t be able to “go with the flow” and work at your peak.
• Take work with you wherever you go, so you can take advantage of travel and waiting time.
• Use time fragments. Many small moments add up to much time either used productively or wasted.
• Avoid overkill. It’s counterproductive to do more when less is enough.
• Do it now, perfect it later. Don’t wait till your product (project) is “perfect” to get it out into the real world. You’ll profit from the feedback.
• Getting started is the hardest part of a job, so make it easier. Keep your tools and projects handy, lay out your clothes the night before, make sure the car is filled with gas, straighten the mess in the evening rather than leaving it for the next day.
• Don’t wait to be in the right mood to get started. Get moving, and the right mood will usually follow.
• Don’t allow low–fuel jobs to burn high–fuel time. Do your hard work during your most productive times, and save the easy work for when your energy is low.
• Keep spares on hand—tools, supplies, cash. You don’t want to interrupt something important to run to the store.
• Practice preventive maintenance. It takes less time and trouble to repair things before they actually break.
• Observe productive people and learn from them.
• Be at peace with the people in your life. Disharmony wastes much time and energy.
• Learn to love work. Good work is healthier and more rewarding than most so–called recreation. Working around and with your family and friends builds better relationships than most leisure activities.

The last, I believe, is the key to Aslett’s success. He really enjoys what he is doing. I’m sure it helps that he is self–employed. He has been accused of being a workaholic, of never taking time to “smell the roses.” When you love your work, the division between work and the rest of life blurs, as we discovered with homeschooling. School was never “out”; there was no distinction between “school” and “fun.” There was just life, and life was both education and recreation. Don Aslett would add that roses smell far sweeter if you’ve labored to grow them yourself.

On my recent reading, the advice that struck me as the most valuable is the one I emphasized in my review:  BE EARLY.  No, I don't mean arrive at a dinner party half an hour before the time on the invitation, to the horror of you hosts!  (If the weather or traffic is iffy, however, it might be good to arrive early, and hang out a block down the street until the proper time.)  Janet's oboe professor taught me the value of that:  you'll never be late if you plan to be sufficiently early, and there's always something productive you can do to fill the extra time.

This goes against my grain.  I'm always trying to squeeze in one more job before leaving for somewhere.  It looks productive, but tends to make me late, as everything takes longer than expected.  At the very least, it makes me impatient with red lights and traffic.  Why not leave early instead, and if you have extra time once you've arrived, find a nice place to read a book, or write a letter.  Aslett advises always carrying work with you, so you'll be able to be productive while waiting.  (If you're me, though, you'll need to set an alarm, or you'll be so caught up in what you're doing you'll end up late to the event after all.)

There are many more applications of Be Early, and I'd be a happier and less-stressed person if I made them into habits.  Do you need to mow the lawn before your trip?  Don't wait till the day before you leave.  Are you having company for dinner?  Get your shopping done days early.  Houseguests coming?  Get those boxes off the guest bed now, not as they're pulling into the driveway.  Because you never know what distraction—good or bad—might come up and derail your timetable.  Your mowing plans might get rained out, the store might be out of a key ingredient, your guests might arrive early, you might make an unexpected trip to the emergency room, a friend you haven't heard from in months might call you on the phone....  It takes no more time—and sometimes much less—to do a job early, and then you can rest in the knowledge that you are prepared.

Good advice.  I hope that when I re-read How to Have a 48-Hour Day in another ten years, I'll be able to say, "I've been practicing EARLY for a decade!"

Edy's Double Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, Butterfingers, and their Swiss pedigree notwithstanding, Nestlé is not my favorite company.  They drain Florida's aquifer and sell our water out of state, while we suffer water restrictions and salt-water intrusion problems.  (Not that they're the only ones.)  They aggressively promote their infant formula in impoverished countries, where babies especially need the benefits of breast milk, and where improperly-prepared formula can be deadly.  They market sugar and chocolate to toddlers:

(I found this on the grocery shelves on a visit to Switzerland.  If you click on the picture to enlarge it, you'll see it is intended for children ages one to three.)

I guess if they're criticized for selling baby formula to the poor, we shouldn't complain if they turn their marketing skills toward the rich.  Still, Nestlé's attempt to bring their fabulously successful and oh-so-trendy capsule coffee system to the baby bottle set strikes me as over the top.  As my Swiss informant explained:  Capsule coffee machines are all the rage here and if you have a Nestlé machine you're in the top of coolness.  Now you can get one for your baby, only it serves formula not coffee.

Yes!  It's safe, it's foolproof, it's BabyNes!

BabyNes is the world’s first comprehensive nutrition system for infants and toddlers, and is based on Nestlé’s latest scientific achievements in baby nutrition and systems technology. With BabyNes, Nestlé builds on its unmatched expertise in baby nutrition gained over 145 years since the invention of Farine Lactée by Henri Nestlé.

Ahem.  The world's first comprehensive nutrition system for infants and toddlers is actually as old as mammals....

BabyNes offers single-serve formulas for infants and young children up to the age of three years. The composition of the six consecutive formulas meets the evolving nutritional needs in the first three years of life: four formulas in the first year, and one formula for each of the following two years. The customised composition of these products is tailored to suit the growth pattern in early life and the baby’s changing nutritional needs, while taking into account the steady introduction of solid food into the infant’s diet.

The single-serve portions are sealed in capsules, used in the proprietary BabyNes machine, which recognises each capsule and prepares the bottle with precisely the right dosage and temperature, at the push of a button, in less than one minute. The BabyNes machine combines state-of-the-art technology with the utmost safety and convenience, and ensures a hygienic, quick and easy bottle preparation.

Best of all, it's supercool!  (Even cooler because the demonstration is in French.)

There are worse things than running over a dead rat with your lawnmower.

But on the whole, I'd rather not, thank you.

At least I think it was a rat.  It's kind of hard to tell now.

No, I'm not posting pictures.

 Q.  How did you spend your 60th birthday?

A1.  Mostly on the road.

A2.  With all of my children and granchildren, plus my brother, some nephews, a bunch of in-laws, and a nice assortment of other relatives and friends!

Both answers are true, and if I had to endure five states' worth of A1, it was worth it to achieve A2!  (Good thing we were in New England, not the Midwest.)

The Cleverest Birthday Card Award goes to my brother (and his family, but knowing my brother, I'm sure it was his idea):

Thanks to everyone who made it a memorable day!