Lift Up Your Hearts!

When Porter came home from a two-week business trip, he commented, "Wow, the house looks great!"  I was momentarily taken aback, because—in contrast with many of his previous out-of-town stays—I had not done anything special to prepare for his arrival. On the contrary, the house had looked that good for more than a week.^*

(victory)

Lower case, no exclamation point, sotto voce—lest the shy bird be startled and take flight, as she has so many times before.  But I told my daughters that if I lasted a month with my new organizational system, I'd write about it.

I'd like to be an original thinker, but what I'm actually proficient at is assembling, compiling, and melding other people's good ideas into something that fits my situation.  This was especially true in family life and education, where what at first glance may have appeared unique, or at least unusual, was merely my take on the best of what I found from a multitude of sources.

So, too, with my efforts at organization and homemaking.  At the heart of my new system is David Allen's Getting Things Done, but discerning readers will recognize the influence of Don Aslett, Steven Covey, FlyLady, Sandra Felton, Malcolm Gladwell, and a host of other inspirations, including family and friends.

I made my first effort to implementing GTD two years ago.  I knew then that I'd been handed an extremely powerful tool that would reform my life.   I made myself a Tickler file, I created Next Action folders, and I reaped significant benefit from them ... but the whole system never really got off the ground.  Mostly, I told myself, because "life interfered"—travel, visitors, and other disruptions shook up the system before it could become established as a habit.  Not that I would have traded any of the wonderful experiences I had, but they were, in my mind, the reason I didn't make progress.

Now I'm not so sure.  I'd be a fool to deny the detrimental effects of disruptions (especially unhappy ones) on a newborn self-improvement program, but in this case I now believe the crucial problem was that I had not had time (made time / had inspiration) to customize the program, to make it my own.

Porter's trip was the inspiration for tackling that project.  I'll spare you the nitty-gritty of the construction, except to say that most importantly it was a recursive process.  We perfectionists prefer that our projects have a long design phase.  "Measure twice, cut once" is our motto, and besides, planning is usually much more fun than implementation.  But what got this project off the ground and into a useful form was an ongoing design-implement-evaluate-revise-repeat plan.  Sometimes (often?) you just don't know what will work until you try it.

Enough talk.  So what am I actually doing?

I'm still using my Tickler file.  I love having a place to "file and forget until needed" concert tickets, driving directions for a future trip, birthday cards I've been inspired to write but which won't be mailed until later, information to bring to a doctor appointment, etc.

I'm also using Allen's Next Action, Projects, and Someday/Maybe folders, though this part still needs some revision.

Although these are anathema to GTD, my system relies on to-do lists.  I'm over trying to fit myself into what "should" work, and at leat at this point in my life, I need the inspiration of seeing the day's work laid out in front of me, with little check boxes that I can triumphantly, physically, mark off when the task is completed.  What's more, although i can do preliminary work on the lists in advance, I also need the inspiration of creating a customized list the night before, specifically for the next day, and printing it out.  I've tried putting my lists on the computer, and it just doesn't work for me.  At least not now.

The lists take two forms:

A Routine List, which sets out the basics of what I want to accomplish every day.  These are so standard that I print the list only once per week, and it has checkboxes for Monday through Saturday.  This list owes a lot to FlyLady's Morning and Evening Routines, but mine covers the whole day.  For example, the worms need their "air conditioning" refreshed once a day, and it makes no sense to give them their frozen water bottle in the morning or the evening:  they need it during the hottest part of the day.  Also, I want to work through my language exercises four times per day, spread out more or less evenly.  The lists are roughly divided into before and after mealtimes, but there's a good bit of overlap and flexibility as well. 

Daily Lists lay out, for each weekday and Saturday, what I hope to accomplish that day.  Some items are standard, such as "take out trash" on Mondays and Thursdays, and "yard work" on Tuesdays.  Others I fill in during my Weekly Review time, during which I evaluate the past week and look forward to the next.  Still others are added as I think of them during the week.  It all comes together the night before, when I check my Tickler and my Action folders, transferring items to the Daily List as appropriate, and printing the final result.  Did I say final?  Not really.  Often I'll add something by hand that comes up after the list has been printed.

It is easy to let the lists get out of hand.  I keep my Routine List to one page, with the table set up so that I can't put more than 38 items on the list.  In order to fit in what I want, I sometimes cheat by grouping items, e.g. "check & clear e-mail / blogs / Facebook / moderate comments" is one item.  That works because I don't group items until they have become such a habit that they get done together and I'm happy not checking them off until all are accomplished.  When I'm establishing new habits I need the satisfaction of checking of the baby steps; once established, I am okay with the groups and can take on the challenge of making room for something new on the list.

The Daily Lists are also one page only, and I've made the table size bigger so there's only room for 18 entries.  Sometimes I fill them all, sometimes I don't.  The trick, I've found, is having enough to challenge me but not so many that I get discouraged.  Too few items and I procrastinate because I think I have lots of time; too many and I procrastinate because "I'm not going to get them all done, anyway."  Ideally I find myself stretching to get just a couple more things done so I can have the satisfaction of completing the list.  I'm still working on getting the right balance.  I don't prioritize the items, exactly, but the Daily Lists are roughly divided into "must do" and "would like to do" tasks.

Daily and weekly jobs go on the printed lists, but anything less frequent than weekly gets a card that goes into my Tickler file.  Originally I had cards for daily and weekly tasks in my Tickler (despite Allen's admonition not to), but I've found the lists work much better for me.  For biweekly, monthly, or other less frequent items, however, the Tickler is still the simpler solution.

That's the basic structure.  Simple, no?  But the devil—and the success—was in the details.  It was a grueling two weeks, mentally and physically, as I gradually put it all together.  Monday and Tuesday went swimmingly, but by Wednesday afternoon I found myself exhausted—mostly mentally, I'll admit, though the constant low-level pain of a flare-up of plantar fasciitis can't be ignored as a limiting factor.  I had been working pretty steadily from 6 a.m. till 10 p.m. for two and a half days, and had put too much on Wednesday's list, so that I moved out of the stretch zone and into the procrastinate zone.  Quadrant IV activities were looking pretty good.  It's hard to explain, but in many ways it was the structure that was the mental drain.  Although my plan included three sets per day of purposeful relaxation exercises, I hadn't left any time in the schedule for spontaneity, the lack of which my mind interpreted as a need for rest.  I scaled back for Thursday and managed to recover my energy and my momentum.

The next week I anticipated the Wednesday slump, made sure I structured the activities to be more rewarding and less taxing, and managed not to hit the wall until Friday.  By the third week, even though I was doing more, I had begun to ride the wave, and the structure became my friend rather than my enemy.  I had created a workable system, and along the way had made good progress in several far-behind areas of my life.

That, believe it or not, is the short version.  Below are some details and a few observations I've made along the way: (More)

It was my kind of outing:  a great concert, not far away, and only 50 minutes long.  Central Florida Community Arts presented an all-John Rutter choral concert at the Maitland Presbyterian Church.  I love Rutter's music, and I'm so happy to be in a church where we get to sing a lot of it.  In fact, just last Sunday we sang the concert opener, For the Beauty of the Earth, so all the notes were fresh in our memories.  The other works were A Dedication and Amen, A Gaelic Blessing, Tomorrow Shall Be My Dancing Day, and The Lord Bless You and Keep You, concluding with the marvellous Gloria.

For your listening pleasure, here's a version of For the Beauty of the Earth that's better than both what we sang and what we heard  :)

I didn't see Aly Raisman win her Olympic gold medal in floor exercise, as it was shown past even my Olympic-extended bedtime.  But I did watch the balance beam competition earlier, and that's where I saw her gold-medal performance.  Yes, I know she won bronze on balance beam.  But until her shockingly low score was re-evaluated and raised by the judges, she thought she had lost to Romanian Catalina Ponor.

What did Raisman do when she realized she had lost the bronze?  Did she cry, or swear, or sulk?  No, she walked over to Ponor and gave her a congratulatory hug.

Frankly, I find the Olympics mostly boring these days, now that the competitors and their performances are no longer amateur.  As a friend of ours, a National Football League referee, once said of football, "Don't kid yourself.  This is about business, not sport."  Raisman's display of good sportsmanship was the best thing I've seen from the London Olympics so far.

Skip this post if you are tired of reading about our fabulous grandchildren.  :)

I was talking with Janet the other day, and as I usually do, I asked what new cute things our grandkids were doing.

"Well," she replied, "Joseph counted nearly to 50."

This puzzled me, as numbers are his passion and a month ago he had happily counted past 150 for me.

Then she added, "in Japanese."

Last night we attended a very enjoyable performance of The Pirates of Penzance, proceeds of which were earmarked for a much-needed upgrade to the sound system at the Lake Brantley High School auditorium.  Our choir director and several people from our church were involved.  We almost joined the chorus, but demured after remembering that being involved in a theatrical performance is synonymous with having no outside life.  Daily rehearsals were more than we could handle.  Still, I regret somewhat losing the opportunity to be able to say that every member of our family had sat, however briefly, under the direction of Cindy Berry.

The show was great!  Everyone from the principals (local arts educators) to the middle-school policemen did wonderfully well.  The Pirate King was played by Christopher McCabe, Brantley alumnus and now the theater director at a local private school.  (I believe he was a freshman when Janet was a senior and no longer spending much time on campus, so don't wrack your brains trying to remember him.)  If his performance owed just a little too much to Johnny Depp, that didn't stop him from stealing the show.

Pour, oh pour the pirate sherry, fill, oh fill the pirate glass—and raise it in a toast to Joyce K., who taught us to love Gilbert & Sullivan.

Happy Swiss National Day to our family and friends across the sea!

Here are sixteen-plus minutes of this year's fireworks in Basel, in case you missed them in person.  I didn't sit through the whole show, but what I did see was very impressive.

Whenever we're not out of the state—or the country—on July 4, our favorite way to celebrate Independence Day is marching with the Greater Geneva Grande Award Marching Band.  That's Geneva, Florida, population 2,940 give or take a few, not the larger and more famous Swiss version.  I can't complain about missing the parade this year, as we instead spent the day with family and friends, some of whom had flown all the way from Switzerland (not Geneva) or the Gambia (think West Africa) to be there! 

But if we had not been in such illustrious company and more than a thousand miles from home, we'd have been with our GGGAMB family.  Camaraderie, music (and then some), free hot dogs, all the water you can drink (and sweat away), the fun of interacting with the crowd, and my all-time favorite arrangement of the Star-Spangled Banner (we miss you, Greg!), all wrapped up in a pleasant mix of old American patriotism and new American diversity.

I've written about the event before (for example, last year), but this time I have videos!  We're not in them, but you'll get the idea well enough.

The band plays All Hail, Geneva! with our trademark Union Break in the middle.

If that experience didn't make you run from the room screaming, you can find more from the band here.  (Janet, I recommend you click on that link and scroll to the bottom of the page.)

Richard, you did a great job with the cymbals, but I'm coming back anyway.

If we didn't live in Mickey's backyard, I don't know if our kids would ever have been to Disney World.  They never were much into the Disney characters, and (thankfully) were born too soon to be part of the Disney Princess craze.  But there’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will—our children grew up in Central Florida, and between good Florida resident deals and free tickets earned through performances at the parks, Disney World was a formative influence in their lives, and ours as well.  EPCOT Center, most especially.  It was hands down their favorite park, from the very beginning; fortunately, it was their parents' favorite park as well.

It is for them, as well as us, that I share this "heartfelt tribute to EPCOT Center as it existed from 1982-1993."  The way it used to be, which of course is much better than it is today.  Really.  (H/T Ruth S., a World's Worst Marching Band friend)

Natsukashi!

How to Have a 48-Hour Day by Don Aslett (Marsh Creek Press, 1996)

I've always found Don Aslett's books inspiring, and I first read and reviewed this one over ten years ago.  This week I decided it was about time for a re-read, especially since I was looking for something quick, easy, and not too mentally challenging.

I found it more challenging this time than last.  Not mentally, but emotionally.  I didn't really want to hear, "Just suck it up and work harder," which is how the message struck me this time.  I found it less inspiring than discouraging, and thus easier to quarrel with some of his premises and logic.  On the other hand, I recognize that there's still a lot of wisdom in the book, so instead of picking it apart, I'll reproduce my original review:

“If you want to get something done, ask a busy person.” How to Have a 48–Hour Day explains why this saying is true. If you’re looking for a book that suggests you can accomplish more by doing less, you will be disappointed: This is like one of those tiresome diet books that tell you the only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more.

As he does in many of his other books, Aslett tells us things that we already know, but in such a way that we believe them. He provides no great revelation, no fancy organizational system. Instead, he dresses up wisdom in an entertaining, inspirational package. A few of his suggestions—such as cutting back on sleep—go too far, but most represent sound, common sense.

• It’s good, not bad, to be productive. People who get things done generally find that success, happiness, confidence, respect, motivation, options, influence, and security follow.
• The measure of productivity is not how hard you work, nor how busy you are, but what you actually accomplish.
• To do more, first do less. Get rid of unnecessary and unhelpful possessions, activities, relationships, habits, distractions, interruptions, and worries that clutter your life and divert your time and attention from what is important.
• Determine your direction. From ethical values to career goals to family relationships, knowing where you are going makes it possible to set priorities and think clearly when you come to a crossroads.
• Realize that you are going to have to learn to work within the time you have. Finding a large block of time in which you can catch up is about as likely as getting out of debt by winning the lottery.
• BE EARLY. This is his most important point. Work ahead, not behind. Keep a “frontlog”—a list of things to do ahead—rather than a backlog. Being early eliminates deadline stress, allows for more options, and reduces the chance that you will be derailed by unexpected problems.
• Keep many irons in the fire; be working on a variety of projects simultaneously. As long as you’re working well on a particular project, keep going. When your interest and concentration wane, “jump ship” to another project. If you have a large “to do” list and are working ahead instead of behind, you can work at your peak for each job, and rest by doing different work, rather than stopping. As a side benefit, your subconscious often continues to work on the previous project after you’ve switched, so you may find additional insights when you return. With many goals to work toward, you can always be making progress even if you run in to an obstacle or find yourself in a slump.
• Keep your schedule flexible. If you tie yourself down too rigidly, you won’t be able to “go with the flow” and work at your peak.
• Take work with you wherever you go, so you can take advantage of travel and waiting time.
• Use time fragments. Many small moments add up to much time either used productively or wasted.
• Avoid overkill. It’s counterproductive to do more when less is enough.
• Do it now, perfect it later. Don’t wait till your product (project) is “perfect” to get it out into the real world. You’ll profit from the feedback.
• Getting started is the hardest part of a job, so make it easier. Keep your tools and projects handy, lay out your clothes the night before, make sure the car is filled with gas, straighten the mess in the evening rather than leaving it for the next day.
• Don’t wait to be in the right mood to get started. Get moving, and the right mood will usually follow.
• Don’t allow low–fuel jobs to burn high–fuel time. Do your hard work during your most productive times, and save the easy work for when your energy is low.
• Keep spares on hand—tools, supplies, cash. You don’t want to interrupt something important to run to the store.
• Practice preventive maintenance. It takes less time and trouble to repair things before they actually break.
• Observe productive people and learn from them.
• Be at peace with the people in your life. Disharmony wastes much time and energy.
• Learn to love work. Good work is healthier and more rewarding than most so–called recreation. Working around and with your family and friends builds better relationships than most leisure activities.

The last, I believe, is the key to Aslett’s success. He really enjoys what he is doing. I’m sure it helps that he is self–employed. He has been accused of being a workaholic, of never taking time to “smell the roses.” When you love your work, the division between work and the rest of life blurs, as we discovered with homeschooling. School was never “out”; there was no distinction between “school” and “fun.” There was just life, and life was both education and recreation. Don Aslett would add that roses smell far sweeter if you’ve labored to grow them yourself.

On my recent reading, the advice that struck me as the most valuable is the one I emphasized in my review:  BE EARLY.  No, I don't mean arrive at a dinner party half an hour before the time on the invitation, to the horror of you hosts!  (If the weather or traffic is iffy, however, it might be good to arrive early, and hang out a block down the street until the proper time.)  Janet's oboe professor taught me the value of that:  you'll never be late if you plan to be sufficiently early, and there's always something productive you can do to fill the extra time.

This goes against my grain.  I'm always trying to squeeze in one more job before leaving for somewhere.  It looks productive, but tends to make me late, as everything takes longer than expected.  At the very least, it makes me impatient with red lights and traffic.  Why not leave early instead, and if you have extra time once you've arrived, find a nice place to read a book, or write a letter.  Aslett advises always carrying work with you, so you'll be able to be productive while waiting.  (If you're me, though, you'll need to set an alarm, or you'll be so caught up in what you're doing you'll end up late to the event after all.)

There are many more applications of Be Early, and I'd be a happier and less-stressed person if I made them into habits.  Do you need to mow the lawn before your trip?  Don't wait till the day before you leave.  Are you having company for dinner?  Get your shopping done days early.  Houseguests coming?  Get those boxes off the guest bed now, not as they're pulling into the driveway.  Because you never know what distraction—good or bad—might come up and derail your timetable.  Your mowing plans might get rained out, the store might be out of a key ingredient, your guests might arrive early, you might make an unexpected trip to the emergency room, a friend you haven't heard from in months might call you on the phone....  It takes no more time—and sometimes much less—to do a job early, and then you can rest in the knowledge that you are prepared.

Good advice.  I hope that when I re-read How to Have a 48-Hour Day in another ten years, I'll be able to say, "I've been practicing EARLY for a decade!"

Edy's Double Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, Butterfingers, and their Swiss pedigree notwithstanding, Nestlé is not my favorite company.  They drain Florida's aquifer and sell our water out of state, while we suffer water restrictions and salt-water intrusion problems.  (Not that they're the only ones.)  They aggressively promote their infant formula in impoverished countries, where babies especially need the benefits of breast milk, and where improperly-prepared formula can be deadly.  They market sugar and chocolate to toddlers:

(I found this on the grocery shelves on a visit to Switzerland.  If you click on the picture to enlarge it, you'll see it is intended for children ages one to three.)

I guess if they're criticized for selling baby formula to the poor, we shouldn't complain if they turn their marketing skills toward the rich.  Still, Nestlé's attempt to bring their fabulously successful and oh-so-trendy capsule coffee system to the baby bottle set strikes me as over the top.  As my Swiss informant explained:  Capsule coffee machines are all the rage here and if you have a Nestlé machine you're in the top of coolness.  Now you can get one for your baby, only it serves formula not coffee.

Yes!  It's safe, it's foolproof, it's BabyNes!

BabyNes is the world’s first comprehensive nutrition system for infants and toddlers, and is based on Nestlé’s latest scientific achievements in baby nutrition and systems technology. With BabyNes, Nestlé builds on its unmatched expertise in baby nutrition gained over 145 years since the invention of Farine Lactée by Henri Nestlé.

Ahem.  The world's first comprehensive nutrition system for infants and toddlers is actually as old as mammals....

BabyNes offers single-serve formulas for infants and young children up to the age of three years. The composition of the six consecutive formulas meets the evolving nutritional needs in the first three years of life: four formulas in the first year, and one formula for each of the following two years. The customised composition of these products is tailored to suit the growth pattern in early life and the baby’s changing nutritional needs, while taking into account the steady introduction of solid food into the infant’s diet.

The single-serve portions are sealed in capsules, used in the proprietary BabyNes machine, which recognises each capsule and prepares the bottle with precisely the right dosage and temperature, at the push of a button, in less than one minute. The BabyNes machine combines state-of-the-art technology with the utmost safety and convenience, and ensures a hygienic, quick and easy bottle preparation.

Best of all, it's supercool!  (Even cooler because the demonstration is in French.)

There are worse things than running over a dead rat with your lawnmower.

But on the whole, I'd rather not, thank you.

At least I think it was a rat.  It's kind of hard to tell now.

No, I'm not posting pictures.

 Q.  How did you spend your 60th birthday?

A1.  Mostly on the road.

A2.  With all of my children and granchildren, plus my brother, some nephews, a bunch of in-laws, and a nice assortment of other relatives and friends!

Both answers are true, and if I had to endure five states' worth of A1, it was worth it to achieve A2!  (Good thing we were in New England, not the Midwest.)

The Cleverest Birthday Card Award goes to my brother (and his family, but knowing my brother, I'm sure it was his idea):

Thanks to everyone who made it a memorable day!

I know that most of you are waiting for more important posts, with vacation pictures and grandchild adventures, but tonight you get the Blue Light Blues.  I saw this article in the Hartford Courant while on vacation; the link here is to Harvard Health Publications, but it's the same text.

In case you needed one more thing to worry about, all that after-hours screen time is exposing you to excessive blue light.  And blue light at night is bad.

At night, light throws the body's biological clock—the circadian rhythm—out of whack. Sleep suffers. Worse, research shows that it may contribute to the causation of cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity.

But not all colors of light have the same effect. Blue wavelengths—which are beneficial during daylight hours because they boost attention, reaction times, and mood—seem to be the most disruptive at night. And the proliferation of electronics with screens, as well as energy-efficient lighting, is increasing our exposure to blue wavelengths, especially after sundown.

Did you catch the bit about energy-efficient lighting?  Those highly-touted compact fluorescent bulbs and LED lights put out more blue light than incandescent bulbs.  Being green can make you blue, too.

The article offers some suggestions for reducing blue light exposure:

1. Use dim red lights for night lights. Red light has the least power to shift circadian rhythm and suppress melatonin.
2. Avoid looking at bright screens beginning two to three hours before bed.
3. If you work a night shift or use a lot of electronic devices at night, consider wearing blue-blocking glasses.
4. Expose yourself to lots of bright light during the day, which will boost your ability to sleep at night, as well as your mood and alertness during daylight.

According to #1, I need to stay up for at least another two hours, but that's not going to happen.  I'll try to do better tomorrow.  For now, I'll go to bed feeling happy that my bedside clock has a red display.

"[W]hen I began this article I was dead set against homeschooling, as are many certified teachers. But, after doing research, I’m not so sure."

It's not the most ringing of endorsements, but it represents a big step, and Susan Schaefer's Homeschooling Goes Mainstream and Here's Why is postive about homeschooling from beginning to end.

I learned that homeschooling is way more organized than I thought and very in vogue at the moment.  In 1980, home schooling was illegal in 30 states. Now, it is legal in all 50 states with about 1.5-2 million children being homeschooled in the U.S., roughly 3 percent of school-age children nationwide.

This reminder of how far we've come gives me hope for the cantons of Switzerland where homeschooling is still illegal.  I pray they'll make progress a bit faster than we did, however—Joseph gets nearer to compulsory school age with every passing hour.

[T]he stigma associated with homeschooling is gone as it becomes more and more mainstream.

I thought the stigma was ancient history, although maybe that's because I rarely pay much attention to such things.  Our kids would know better.

The image of homeschooled children spending their days sitting at the kitchen table are long gone. Today’s homeschooled are out and about with many museums offering programs to homeschoolers as well as other hands-on activities, such as nature centers. There are endless websites dedicated to non-traditional learning opportunities in addition to websites offering support and resources for homeschooling families.

Hmmm.  Our kitchen table was dedicated to eating, not schooling, though I can't deny that a lot of education happened during dinner.  We certainly did our share of out-and-about!  All those "endless websites" would have been nice, though.  Hard as it is to believe, children, this was Before The Internet, though we did have the Education Round Table on GEnie.

According to the Homeschool Progress Report 2009: Academic Achievement and Demographics, homeschoolers, on average, scored 37 percentile points above their public school counterparts on standardized achievement tests.

Nothing new here, but it is nice to know that the advantage still holds as the homeschooling numbers have grown from "the few, the proud."

[H]omeschooled kids are far from isolated from peers, do well in social situations, and are more likely to be involved in their community. The education level of the parents had little effect on the success of their children, as did state regulations, gender of the student, or how much parents spent on education.

Again, nothing new.  In fact, there is little new in the article, but it was still encouraging to read.  If there's one thing I've learned in my more-than-half-century of life, it's that what's well known needs to be said again and again to each new generation, each new situation, each new demographic, or it is in danger of being lost.

What caught my eye about this article, above and beyond the homeschooling connection, was the paper in which it appeared:  The Middletown (Connecticut) Patch.  I thought the format and logo looked familiar, and indeed it was the obviously-related East Haddam-Killingworth Patch of a year ago April that mentioned my research on Phoebe's Quilt.  So it must be an important journal, right?

In the Name of Jesus by Henri J. M. Nouwen (Crossroad Publishing 1996; original copyright 1989)

Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spirit by Henri J. M. Nouwen, with Michael J. Christensen and Rebecca J. Laird (HarperOne, 2010)

I've dabbled in Henri Nouwen's writings for years, always finding value in some of his insights, but never finding myself in a position to appreciate, or even to understand, his work over all.  Wherever he is, I'm never "quite there yet."  These books evoked the same reaction.

Of the two, In the Name of Jesus I found most comprehensible.  Spiritual Formation, a compilation of Nouwen's thoughts, has rough edges from the cut-and-paste effort.  It's meant to be a seamless whole, but I encountered too many unacknowledged contradictions to make sense of it all.

Here are a few quotations, all from In the Name of Jesus, which deals with spiritual leadership.

Dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with God easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject.  But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative.

When you look at today's Church, it is easy to see the prevalence of individualism among ministers and priests.  Not too many of us have a vast repertoire of skills to be proud of, but most of us still feel that, if we have anything at all to show, it is something we have to do solo.  You could say that many of us feel like failed tightrope walkers who discovered that we did not have the power to draw thousands of people, that we could not make many conversions, that we did not have the talents to create beautiful liturgies, that we were not as popular with the youth, the young adults, or the elderly as we had hoped, and that we were not as able to respond to the needs of our people as we had expected.  But most of us still feel that, ideally, we should have been able to do it all and do it successfully.  Stardom and individual heroism, which are such obvious aspects of our competitive society, are not at all alien to the Church.  There too the dominant image is that of the self-made man or woman who can do it all alone.

Somehow we have come to believe that good leadership requires a safe distance from those we are called to lead.  Medicine, psychiatry, and social work all offer us models in which "service" takes place in a one-way direction.  Someone serves, someone else is being served, and be sure not to mix up the roles!  But how can anyone lay down his life for those with whom he is not even allowed to enter into a deep personal relationship?  Laying down your life means making your own faith and doubt, hope and despair, joy and sadness, courage and fear available to others as ways of getting in touch with the Lord of life.

The temptation to consider power an apt instrument for the proclamation of the Gospel is the greatest of all. ... Every time we see a major crisis in the history of the Church, such as the Great Schism of the eleventh century, the Reformation of the sixteenth century, or the immense secularization of the twentieth century, we always see that a major cause of rupture is the power exercised by those who claim to be followers of the poor and powerless Jesus.

What makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible?  Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love.  It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.  Jesus asks, "Do you love me?"  We ask, "Can we sit at your right hand and your left hand in you Kingdom?"  (Matthew 20:21).

[Christian leadership in the future] is not a leadership of power and control, but a leadership of powerlessness and humility in which the suffering servant of God, Jesus Christ, is made manifest.  I, obviously, am not speaking about a psychologically weak leadership in which the Christian leader is simply the passive victim of the manipulations of his milieu.  No, I am speaking of a leadership in which power is constantly abandoned in favor of love.  It is a true spiritual leadership.  Powerlessness and humility in the spiritual life do not refer to people who have no spine and who let everyone else make decisions for them.  They refer to people who are so deeply in love with Jesus that they are ready to follow him wherever he guides them, always trusting that, with him, they will find life and find it abundantly.